YOUR STORY IS NOT YOURS ALONE
HAVE YOU STOPPED TO THINK HOW YOUR EXPERIENCES AND DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE YOU LOVE?
Ihave survived another year – and what a year to get through. Normal is no longer what I thought it was and any expectation I had about what I’d be doing was blown out of the water.
Actually, what I’ve found in hindsight (a great sight to have) is that the year has been great – different, but great.
Why am I sharing this with you? Yesterday was my birthday and I was reflecting on an amazing journey of decisions, actions and experiences that have shaped the person I am now, while reaching back into past thinking to remember who I wanted to be at this age. Guess what? Here I am.
When I reflect on this journey it reads a little like a ripping yarn or a Boys Own story (that may give you some idea about the age I’m at). There has been little that you would describe as settled, standard or straightforward during my lifetime as I took every opportunity to engage fully with life and then had to make the best of things when less-than-ideal circumstances forced change upon me.
What I have learnt is that resilience is a tool that comes with experience, and the experiences that give us resilience are usually the more difficult ones.
The other thing that I learnt and only recently became truly conscious of is that those decisions and actions we take to get through difficult events have an impact on others, and particularly those we are closest to. In other words, while the experience shapes our story, our story shapes others and their stories.
We all tend to live in our own version of the world and are usually unaware of the impact we have on others and yet our paths are entwined in shared experience.
In a radio interview I was listening to recently the person’s story was harrowing and she made the comment that “these experiences aren’t yours alone, we live them together”.
This really got me thinking about events I had survived. At the time, I saw them as just happening to me but, perhaps because I was in such a reflective mood, it dawned on me how selfish I had been by not appreciating the true emotional impact on my family and close friends, and how that had shaped our relationships together.
I totally understand why Rowena gets concerned when I start exploring a crossTasman sailing adventure (in cyclone season), go trekking in Borneo, do the 1000km Bibbulmun Track in Western Australia, or buy another motorbike to go touring with.
Rowena has seen me survive three heart issues, including two heart attacks, one of which included death and resurrection. She’s supported me through 12 months of chemo. She helped me to recover over time from a deadly attack in Papua New Guinea. She’s also aware that when I lived on the boats up in the Gulf we had driven a 65-foot trawler right through the eye of a cyclone and lived to tell the tale.
What I realise now is that every decision I take has a consequence for her as well and tempering my enthusiasm for life with a consideration for the impact on her will only strengthen our love for each other and capacity to grow that love.
That’s part of my story as I celebrate today. What’s yours, and how does it impact on others? Worth a thought?