This murder trial went right down to the wire

THE case of a southern premier in trouble this week triggered memories.

The ICAC hearing closed the court to listen to tapes of an alleged phone conversation, and I couldn’t help but think of a Supreme Court judge who presided over a trial in Toowoomba who probably wished he hadn’t had to sit through recorded evidence either.

It was almost 20 years ago that I was covering a murder trial arising from the death of a man in a caravan park in a town to Toowoomba’s west. It was a bizarre case.

The currency of the area, for a start, was a carton of VB.

If you mowed someone’s lawn, you were paid with a carton of VB, fix your mate’s car, carton of VB.

These were rough people living life rough, not least attested to by one of their number being shot dead.

With the investigation languishing, one bloke came forward telling police the chief suspect had bragged to him drunk that he’d done it.

Whether or not this chap had watched too many cop shows, he volunteered to wear a wire and tape the suspect talking about the murder. Somehow, the cops agreed to it. The resultant tape recording was played to the court.

The scene was a group of blokes sitting in a caravan drinking VB cans.

The tape began with the unmistakeable “fffftt” sound of beer cans opening, followed by gulping there of and subsequent burp and “aahhh”.

It was only a matter of time before the sounds of a group of blokes drinking beer in a caravan would ring out across the courtroom.

The first fart had the jury’s attention, but the subsequent burping, farting and swearing had all 12 trying to hold back giggles.

Not so the public gallery which by now was in raucous laughter.

I glanced up at the judge to see him with elbows on the bench, head in hands below his wig.

It got worse. During the drinking session, suspect number one announced that he needed a whiz.

Now, toilets in caravan parks are Besser block buildings which echo like a cave in the mountains.

Our “undercover” man went with him to tape the confession.

The tape recorded their echoed conversation as they entered the amenities block.

We could also hear everything else that was going on in there as Prime Suspect ignored all standards of toilet etiquette and peed into the water in the bowl, creating a pdpdpdpdpdpdp effect.

The judge was now shaking his head so much his wig was almost coming off.

Then, as if somehow reaching a crescendo at the climax of his performance, Prime Suspect let go with a clearly audible fart which had the jury falling about laughing.

He never did definitively confess on that tape but Prime Suspect was none the less found guilty and sentenced to life in prison where he died some years ago.

So astounded by what they had sat through over the week-long trial, the judge and his associate drove out to the town to see for themselves.

THE JUDGE WAS NOW SHAKING HIS HEAD SO MUCH HIS WIG WAS ALMOST COMING OFF.