DO YOU VALUE YOUR VALUES?

KNOWING WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU CAN PROVIDE INSIGHT INTO YOUR BEHAVIOUR AND RELATIONSHIPS

Nick and I have recently been working with a large organisation to review and refresh their values. It’s been interesting to listen to the conversations and debate about the word itself, the organisation’s intention, and how to distil the inherent meaning into a short yet meaningful action statement that everyone in the organisation can relate to.

But what are values, why are they important and how do we use them?

One definition is “principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgment of what is important in life”. They could also be described as our compass, internal drivers or morals that help guide us through life and navigate its ups and downs.

Have you ever considered your personal or family values?

You may or may not be consciously aware of them, yet values are an intrinsic part of who you are, and they are revealed in what you do and how you do it.

While it can be hard to name them, you’re likely to have between five and seven core values, which are the values that are most important to you.

Once adopted, these core values are unlikely to change, although the way they are engaged may be different depending on the situation.

Our awareness of our values develops through time and experience, and learning what we stand for provides some of the most critical lessons in our life. We have all compromised our values at times, possibly while still discovering what they are. When you recall a time when you didn’t stick to your values, you will probably remember how bad you felt as a result.

Something to note is that whatever we hold to be our values may be espoused, or talked about and desired, rather than embraced and modelled. This will be clear from our behaviour. For example, if one of your values is honesty but you gossip behind someone’s back about them, I would suggest honesty is an espoused value. Similarly, if you say caring for the environment is a value of yours, but mindlessly dispose of rubbish or wastewater, then it may not be a value you truly embrace.

Our personal values are central to our decisions, choices, and how we go about our life in general.

If we ever feel challenged by someone, it can be due to a clash of values. So, whether in our primary relationship, with friends, family, or at work, having different values to the other person or organisation can lead to tension and cause conflict. This tension can also occur if both parties have similar values, yet interpret them differently.

If you haven’t already explored your own values, then I invite to you to consider them as it will help you recognise what you care deeply about. If you are in a relationship, it would be worth you both reflecting on your values separately before discussing those you have in common and those that differ, and how that plays out in your relationship.

Identifying shared values helps to establish healthy boundaries, agreed behaviours and creates a strong foundation which will enable you to support and appreciate each other more, particularly in the difficult times.

If you have a family, remember that your children will be learning about values and will pick them up through watching how you behave, rather than being told what to do.

If this has sparked your interest in exploring your personal values I suggest you undertake the Barrett’s Personal Values Assessment through The Values Centre. It’s quick, easy and free to access, and you receive an insightful e-report.