Do yourself a service, ditch bad companies

YOU may have heard of Sh*t Towns of Australia, the website that pays tribute to towns so bad even locals don’t want to live there. Well, I am going to start Sh*t Services of Australia.

Why is it that the bigger the profit, the more annoying the business is to deal with? A few weeks ago the winner (loser?) for me was Jetstar.

But this week many people have been following the extravagant halfyearly profits posted by some of Australia’s largest – and most disappointing – companies.

Take Qantas, which has just posted a billion-dollar half-yearly profit. Qantas received two billion in taxpayer subsidies during the pandemic but they’re not paying them back now that they’re making a profit. They’re also not bringing down prices.

While CEO Alan Joyce blames jet fuel prices, we blame him. And the company is not improving service.

You know you’re on Qantas when it takes seven hours, three cancelled flights and an extra $80 in airport parking to get from Melbourne from Sydney.

Their self-check-ins always seem to require assistance and their customer service is non-existent. That’s Qantas, Australia’s billiondollar profit company.

Same goes for supermarkets, which did very well out of the pandemic, and which are now posting record half-yearly profits.

The big supermarkets crow about “improved customer metrics” and “increased headwinds in profits”.

They mean we’re now paying more for the same things.

With staffed aisles rarer these days than genuine discounts, shopping has become more annoying than ever.

We’re forced to endure endless frustration thanks to self-service check-outs. These nasty machines always seem to be malfunctioning, telling us that “an item was not detected in the bagging area”.

It comes as no surprise, then, that supermarkets are reporting higher theft levels, especially through the machine-operated check-outs.

One supermarket boss called such thefts “stock adjustments” driven by “non-payments” requiring more “stock loss minimisation initiatives”.

Such companies promote their brand as customer-friendly and yet they’re spending more than ever to catch us stealing things. Oops, I mean making unauthorised stock adjustments.

Why don’t they bring prices down and improve service so people don’t feel like nicking things?

That’s not all. Modern supermarkets offer bulk-buy special offers which mean we have to buy extra items we don’t need to get any money off. This means we end up paying them for the privilege of giving us a discount.

They want us to round up our purchases so they can donate our money to charity in their name.

I am trying to break up with all of these Sh*t Services, because I know they are not good for me.

Our relationship has been bad for way too long.

So, I’m sorry, Sh*t Services, it’s over. I am done. Just remember, it’s not me, it’s you.