Building slowly
Grevsmuhl taking it steady with his return to NRL
CHRIS Grevsmuhl had the rugby league world at his feet – a starting backrower for the Penrith Panthers, an Indigenous All Stars representative, a Queensland Origin hopeful.
Then last November, at the age of 23, he walked away from the game, citing “personal reasons”.
He has now broken his silence on the real reasons he left rugby league – revealing the pressure of being an NRL player became so overwhelming he quit for his mental welfare.
He turned to gambling as an outlet for his frustrations.
“The gambling was my release, but the biggest issue was me not wanting to be around people. Even though I was surrounded by people it was still the loneliest time of my life,” he said.
“You think there is no one to talk to even though you are surrounded by people.”
Grevsmuhl suffered from depression, lost the desire to play and distanced himself from family, friends and teammates – before loved ones and Penrith boss Phil Gould stepped in.
After requesting a release from the Panthers, Grevsmuhl, who celebrates his 24th birthday today, now lives in Orange working as a builder and helping out the local footy side.
“I hit rock bottom and I had to walk away from the game for myself,” Grevsmuhl said. “You sort of get consumed by it and all the processes that come with it.
“At the end of the day footy is a job, you do lose the love for it and it’s not fun anymore.
“It’s exactly like going to work and it became too much in the end. I don’t blame anyone else. I blame myself for just losing the love for it and just not wanting the pressures.
“I’d reached my low and I didn’t see it, but luckily there were people around me who could see it and they helped me get back to the great mindset and appreciating everything a bit more. I’m loving life away from footy.”
On top of working as a builder, he has been training with Orange CYMS offering his advice and experience.
He was expected to play for his new team this weekend in the West Wyaong knockout but has withdrawn from the team so he can focus on his return to the NRL.
“I’m just going to focus on getting back to first grade (in the NRL),” he said.
He hopes to resurrect his professional career, with the Gold Coast Titans believed to be his most likely destination if cleared by the NRL, whose Integrity Unit is looking at his mental welfare.
While he’d like to return to the NRL, Grevsmuhl stresses he is in no rush.