OFF THE RECORD
THE curse of posting every minute detail of life on social media has struck again. They meet by chance and agree to go on a first date. She readies herself with all the necessary waxing and waning and then one hour before the big night he sends a text to say it’s off. The reason? His cat had to be rushed to the vet. So our fair damsel did what any normal gal of a suspicious nature would do and next morning checked his latest posting. Sure enough there he was out on the town with a mystery blonde. She sent him a text saying “hope the pussy gives you an incurable disease”. Ouch!
SOMEONE has rather large tickets on themselves. Before a big charity do this damsel rang the organiser and asked for seats for she and a gal pal. “No problems,” said the organiser. “I just need your credit card details and the tickets will be at the door.” “Oh no,” cried the damsel. “I don’t pay for anything. I’ll tell all my followers what a great event it is and they will donate money.” Hmm! Guess who didn’t get a seat.
HAVING a commercial in kind arrangement (aka contra) can work very well for some. A problem arises when your significant other wants to get something that is not on your list of preferred suppliers. What to do? In this case he rang all his mates to see if they could arrange a special deal that will require spending as little real money as possible. They are taking great delight in watching him squirm as the moths escape from his wallet.
A NEW approach for scamming money from kind hearts. This pretender tells everyone how sick she is and how she would just love a trip overseas before the final curtain. Believe it or not but it worked for this wannabe grand dame. She is at present spending up big having a variety of procedures to change bibs and bobs in the East before heading to Europe. The big question is will we recognise her when she returns?
WHO was the big name who took his new, very small dog to a well-known shopping centre? There he was told by security that unfortunately canines, well behaved or not, were not allowed in the centre due to a few incidents. A discussion ensued where the big name tried to convince the guard that his dog was very well trained. Unfortunately the argument was lost for all time when the little pooch did what all dogs do and lifted his leg on the security man’s ankle.