OFF THE RECORD
IT SEEMS the elections for a body corporate committee in one of our highrises has ruffled the feathers of a gaggle of owners with some calling foul over the decision to re-elect the committee. One aggrieved owner has coined a nickname for one of the committee members after US President Trump. Faster than you can say “fake news”, all the offending material scrolled with Trump has been removed from public viewing. Due to CCTV cameras, it’s only a matter of time before the graffiti artist is named and shamed.
STEP right up – we have a new contender for this year’s biggest cheapskate. A little unhappy with her curves, this social sheila decided to pop onto the operating table and get part of her stomach snipped away to reduce her weight. The gastro snip has worked, and she is now boasting a slimmer figure, although she is claiming it was all diet and exercise. This lass downs enough sauv blanc in one sitting to fill a fully loaded petrol pump, however, eating supersized meals is no longer possible. Only able to digest a small plate of food she contacted an upmarket buffet to ask for a discount as there is no way she could eat enough food to get value for money. This swanky venue politely declined the request and missy was so unhappy that a tantrum befitting a toddler was thrown and she threatened to bag the venue to all her alleged wide network of friends. One slight issue, with no one knowing about her reduction in the tum tum tubes except her exhusband, who is she going to tell about not obtaining a discount? Chop, chop … next!
SPEAKING of discounts, just heading to Logan to get a cheaper price on a new mattress might not be the best option. Wanting to save some dosh on a new mattress, this lovely local lass headed up the M1 to negotiate a better deal. That was achieved – however, paying a $100 delivery fee was not factored into the deal. Next day a skinny delivery driver arrived with the mattress … however, he rocked up to the apartment with no help. The dame was not impressed as she had to help carry the queen-sized mattress up two flights of stairs with her bare hands and seemed to have more strength than the wafer-thin delivery driver. Good news is that the mattress is in and being put to good use with her new beau. She is, however, keeping tightlipped on the fact she had to lift the whopper up the stairs to save face with her lover. Not all discounted purchases end up the best overall option. Lesson learnt!