OFF THE RECORD
LIVE and learn. Boutique owner is still shaking her head in disbelief at the actions of one of her “friends”. Looking for a special frock to wear to a big social soiree she found one she liked but asked for some adjustments to be made. Informed that there would be a charge she was assured that money was no problem. The dress came back, it was skin tight in all the right prices and then came the time to pay. “Oh no! I’m not paying for it unless it is a contra deal.” Told that she wasn’t interested in contra in any way shape or form, the “friend” simply said, “Your loss” and turned on her heel and left the shop. With friends like that.
THE owners of a recently opened upmarket venue decided to spare no expense with the furnishings for the new place du jour. Everything was to be the very best in an effort to attract the higher class of clientele they were hoping to bring to the new venue. Fast forward a few weeks and they are now wondering what to make of the rapid disappearance of the ultra-luxe furnishings. If it was not bolted, glued or nailed, the guests had managed to work out a way to hide it and walk out the door. Maybe hidden GPS trackers are the only way to catch the cheapskates who ruin it for everyone.
MOST of us could stand to lose a few kilos – guilty as charged – but the wailing and moaning of this dame that nothing she does works is receiving no sympathy from her friends. She regularly goes to the gym and does all the usual grunts and groans. The problem appears to be after the workout when she heads to a nearby coffee shop to reward herself for all that hard work. A simple calorie count would reveal that her balance is way out with intake in the form of cake, pies and coffee far outweighing (sorry) output on the machines. Time to do the maths sweetie.
SOMETHING of an Easter feel about this chap’s thrice denials that he was in a hot and heavy relationship with a new dame. What could be the problem? Everyone loves a good oldfashioned love story but to hear him tell it they are just good friends. He has even used that famous Bill Clinton quote about never having relations with that woman. What is even odder is that the woman in question is unaware of his protestations and is constantly telling one and all that they are planning to get married.