OFF THE RECORD
THE wearing of Cuban heels on men is a look usually reserved for cowboys and stockmen but in this case there is another use altogether. At first his friends thought he was simply doing it to elevate his stature but it appears the reason is more to do with getting high than height. It seems he has hollowed out one of the heels and devised a cunning way of flipping the base, Maxwell Smart style, to access his private stash of Bolivian Marching Powder. These boots were made for snorting apparently.
NOTHING like a double dose of delusion to one who loves that all-important sense of being connected to all the right people. The problem arises however when you name drop so often that eventually your little white lies are going to come back to haunt you. One well-connected and high profile chap met for a business meeting and one of the attendees said, “I understand you are a great friend of Joe Blogs Daily.” A puzzled look and then the answer, “Never heard of him. What does he do?” End result the delusional one has now become a laughing stock behind his back.
THE Commonwealth Games have been and gone but someone is ruing a missed opportunity to get in among the full contact socialising. Reasoning that he would be flooded with invites to many swinging soirees he decided to wait before replying to the first offer that came in, believing that many more would be flowing into his inbox. Sad to say after a week of waiting nothing else turned up so he rang the first and only offer to RSVP. “I’m terribly sorry but we only have a limited number of people and when you didn’t reply we asked someone else.” The end result – poor old Cinderfella didn’t get to go to a single dance.
IF it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. This newly appointed head honcho needs to have that motto nailed above the desk in the big office. It’s the same old story – new to the job, wants to make a big impression, immediately starts altering the way everything is done because as have we all learned in the last few weeks, out of towners know better. The end result has been a mass exodus of key personnel with a lifetime of knowledge about customers and their preferences. How long before the overlords step in to save the ship? Nobody knows for sure but the smart money is on two months. Let’s hope they can salvage something from the mess.