OFF THE RECORD
SHE claims it was a senior moment but who was the social femme who forgot to bring her handbag to a ladies-only dinner and had to borrow from one of her friends with a promise to repay it the next day? Yep, two weeks later and that momentary senior moment has settled in for the winter because she has ‘forgotten’ to repay her friend. She may find that her invitations to lunch will now become nil because word of her amnesia when it comes to money has spread around town.
LOVED this story of two nonagenarian (that’s 90-plus folks) love birds who met, courted each other and decided to get married. When quizzed why bother with wedding vows at their age the blushing bride explained it thus. Apparently her new husband is very religious and doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. Quite ironic because we know lots of couples who don’t believe in sex AFTER marriage.
SPEAKING of seniors getting funky between the sheets, one fair to middling dame has been regaling her girlfriends with this tale. Out on a date, one drink turned into many and next thing you know they are getting hot and heavy. At a critical moment her problematic hip slipped its moorings and she let out a groan. Her new mate, thinking he was doing everything right, redoubled his efforts causing even more groaning. “It was the worst three minutes of my life,” she told friends ruefully, “but he enjoyed himself immensely and was cock-a-hoop about his performance.”
THIS mega-rich dude was constantly being approached by mere acquaintances for a loan, joint venture opportunity or straight out cash. He eventually solved the problem by telling everyone who asked that due to tax reasons he had signed over his vast wealth to a trust fund in the name of his wife and children. All requests would in future have to be forwarded to the missus who had the final say. Funnily enough all the pleas have dried up.
YOU have to admire the gall of this chap who turned up to a function with three friends, no tickets and then demanded entry to the fun and games. It’s not that he couldn’t afford the entry fee but he simply thought he was far too important to bother with so trifling a matter as paying. Thankfully the person on the door, backed up by some beefy blokes in black, said, “No pay, no play!” Cinderfella was last seen heading for the exit with his friends in tow.