BRISBANE IS JEALOUS OF OUR LOOKS
But you do have your brown river ...
Ihate Brisbane. There. I said it. If Queensland is a family, Brisbane is the boorish, boring big brother while the Gold Coast is the brash, exciting and talented younger (spoiled) sibling.
We can’t help being fabulous, we just are. Meanwhile, the most boring excuse of a capital city I’ve ever met is so meek, mild and inoffensive that it’s actually offensive.
Unless I need to go to a concert, get on a cruise ship or - God forbid – visit a government department, I see no reason to ever travel north up the M1.
And yet, to paraphrase Kermit the Frog, it’s not easy being Gold.
While we may get all the attention, Brisbane gets all the glory.
It’s our curse that we fall under its geographical shadow.
As a result we’re chronically underfunded and overlooked.
If we were just a few more hundred kilometres removed from our capital city, life would be so different.
Instead, anyone not from southeast Queensland, whether a politician or business, seems to assume that we are a satellite suburb of BrisVegas. As such, whatever big brother gets, we are expected to share. Or, if we’re lucky, we get a hand-medown.
What’s so great about Brisbane anyway? The river? The museums? Yawn and yawn.
Look, I do feel a bit sorry for our older sibling. When it came to being born with good looks, we truly were blessed.
Not only that, we’ve taken those natural attributes and worked them to their full potential – our beaches and mountains are accessible to all, and we’ve only highlighted them with restaurants that offer million-dollar views and entertainment precincts that are world class.
Poor Brisbane just can’t handle it. So they try to undermine our awesomeness – just like with the cruise ship terminal debate.
Now, environmental arguments aside (and I grant that there are many), it’s pretty obvious why they’re worried if we should be given our own port. Why on earth would anyone opt for Brisbane over the Gold Coast as a destination?
The Brisbane port is where dreams go to die – and, by the looks of it, where any number of bodies are buried.
Even worse, as a city we are frequently ignored in favour of what big brother has to say. Take the ABC for example. The Brisbane arm of Aunty is offered impressive quarters nestled in the heart of South Bank’s cultural hub.
The state-of-the-art facilities include radio, television and news studios, as well as offices for a contingent of ABC journalists. When strolling past, you can watch the day’s headlines streaming on the Parklands side of the building.
By comparison, the Gold Coast studio can barely fit the letters A, B and C on its miniscule Mermaid Beach office. It sends a pretty clear message about which audience is considered more important. Even worse, anyone who tunes in might notice that it seems the Brisbane signal is actually stronger here than our own Gold Coast transmitter, despite an audience whose interests and issues are completely different from those of the capital city. And it’s not just the ABC. Mayor Tom Tate last week argued that our city is at the stage where key State and Federal agencies must have a greater physical presence here and that we deserve our own Supreme Court.
But I’m willing to go further.
Let’s just move the whole thing down here.
If you took all the government agencies and their surrounding services and moved them to the Coast, Brisbane would be left with tumbleweeds.
Let’s face it, if they took a vote I’m pretty sure it would be a landslide to head for the beach. I’m not saying we necessarily want them, but we do want what we are due.
It’s time to rebel. We are all grown up. We have a population of almost 600,000 residents and 13 million annual visitors, making us the sixth biggest city in Australia – and certainly its most dynamic.
Let’s allow each city to be its true self. If Brisbane wants to be a big country town, then let it. We’ll take the action and they can break out their horse and carriages instead.
That might actually be an attraction worth travelling up the M1 to see.