HANNANT’S HEARTBREAK
Rugby league star’s greatest challenge surprisingly came on the home front, far from the football field
WITH a glittering career and a loving family, rugby league legend Ben Hannant appeared to have it all. But behind his ever-smiling face is a lot of heartbreak – from the time spent living in a tent when his parents lost their business, to his struggles with his son’s autism.
IT’S Sunday evening … time to prepare dinner, sort out school bags and pack lunches for the kids before unwinding with a glass/bottle of wine as I brace myself for the onslaught of the working week. As I run through my to-do list, I suddenly recall: I promised to send a friendly reminder to Ben Hannant that we have an interview date the following morning.
I don’t begrudge the text. This may not be a service I usually provide, particularly given that I’m prone to forgetting everything from parent-teacher interviews to those aforementioned lunches ... and sometimes even the kids themselves, but given the legendary NRL player’s daily schedule, I’m inspired to push myself.
Just hearing his Monday timetable is enough to make me break a sweat.
Up at 4.45am to co-host the Sea FM breakfast show from 6am, he leaves the Broadbeach studio at 11am for this interview (yes, the reminder worked), then it’s back home to spend time with wife Emma, before flying to Sydney to film Channel 9’s 100% Footy show, then fly back into Brisbane at midnight and catch a cab back to his Tallebudgera farm, where he sets his alarm for predawn yet again. And don’t forget he has seven children.
But that’s not even half of it. Born and bred on the Gold Coast, Ben appears the ultimate golden boy.
Blond hair, blue eyes, he’s the city’s favourite footy son, full of good humour but also committed to his wife and high school sweetheart. He’s the definition of a great mate, and partner.
Not only did his 12-year career see him play six Tests for Australia, 12 State of Origins for Queensland, and 245 NRL games between the Sydney Roosters, Brisbane Broncos, Canterbury Bulldogs and the North Queensland Cowboys – including winning two grand finals, he’s even won the Lotto.
That’s not an analogy. He literally scratched off $200,000 back in 2005.
Some guys have all the luck, right?
Well, read on. Behind his ever-smiling face is a lot of heartbreak.
From the time when he was eight years old and his parents lost their business in the “recession we had to have’’, leaving the family of 13 seeking shelter in a tent, to just a few years ago when his oldest son was almost locked in a mental institution, Ben has had far uglier things to tackle in his 33 years than footy foes.
“Emma and I had our first child, Kye, when we were 20. Even though I’m the ninth of 11 kids and she’s one of six, you just learn on the job as a parent,” he says.
“It took a long time for us to realise something wasn’t right.
“Kye would turn violent and aggressive but then he’d be so loving too. I didn’t know whether I needed to, you know, knock sense into him or what, we were so lost.
“We tried everything. In the end, he was diagnosed with autism, on the side of the spectrum that used to be called Asperger’s.
“That was the reason I ended up leaving the Roosters. Emma couldn’t cope. He was growing bigger and stronger and it was just frightening.
“There was one time I was away and she had to take him to the hospital here on the Gold Coast and the doctors wanted to lock him in the mental institution, they were so worried he was really going to hurt Emma.
“Of course, that’s just the worst thing that you can do to a kid with ASD – or any child, for that matter.
“They wouldn’t let her go home with him alone, she had to go to her parents. They were that worried about her safety.
“It’s just …watching your child battle through, that is the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through.”
It’s a feeling that every parent knows. We may be a man or woman of steel when it comes to ourselves, but our kids are our Achilles heel.
Despite copping flak from both the media and fans about leaving Sydney, Ben says he was too ashamed to explain the truth behind his decision.
But he says struggling under the weight of others’ judgment was what finally broke him.
“Emma used to come home in tears. People would see her with this child who is misbehaving and she looks so young and she has all these other children with her and they would outright insult her ability to parent. They would
literally yell at her to buy some condoms,” he says.
“There was one time we were in a shopping centre and Kye just lost it. It was awful, horrific. I could not pull him back from the brink. I gave him a huge whack and then you’re standing there in public with your child just possessed and you’re hitting him and… it was rock bottom.
“That’s when I knew we had to have help. Of course, by the time we got him diagnosed he was over the age of seven, which means you don’t get any financial assistance.
“We spent an easy $50,000 that year on treatments. I’d happily spend 10 times that if that’s what’s needed, but what about all of those other families who haven’t played professional rugby league?”
Ben says medication and years of therapy have enabled Kye to finally thrive at school.
But, initially, the journey post-diagnosis wasn’t easy.
“We had to give him medication that was like a tranquilliser. It would knock him out for eight hours and let his brain reset. But it’s awful watching your child lying there all but dead because their brain is wired in a way that can’t always cope.
“I think we really turned the corner when we moved to Townsville (in 2015). Prior to that, Kye was going to Somerset College and we would have to pick him up every day at little lunch, his behaviour was that bad.
“When we moved to Townsville his rap sheet was that long that some of the staff thought he shouldn’t be accepted. But the principal said Kye deserved a chance. And with that different mindset, he started proving himself.
“It went from an incident every day to once a week, to once a month to once every few months. Now he goes to Hillcrest Christian College and you wouldn’t even know he’s any different.”
Ben says his daughter Mia has since also been diagnosed with ASD, although he says her outbursts are more emotional than violent.
He says given their experience, she is progressing well … and he wants other kids to have the same opportunity.
It’s part of the reason he joined 4 ASD Kids Maxing Out Challenge. Helmed by model Chloe Maxwell, wife of former NRL star Mat Rogers and mum of Max, also on the spectrum, he joined the supermum and Brisbane radio DJ Ash Bradnam to participate in the world’s biggest iron distance triathlon, Germany’s Challenge Roth.
On July 1, the trio swam 3.8km, rode 180km and finally ran a 42.2km marathon. And Ben did it all with a torn calf.
“We have a saying in our family: Hannants don’t walk. It means we rise to the challenge.
“Those were the last words that Mia said to me when I got on the plane to Germany and I just thought: how am I going to do this with my injury? I couldn’t let her down.
“I just made myself run. When I got to the 28th kilometre I couldn’t do it. I was so dejected. It was awful. I just
Watching your child battle ... that is the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through
poured as much fluid into my body as I could but I was so angry. My kids have been through so much and I wanted to show them that I could rise to beat the odds too. I felt like I was failing them.
“But I kept walking. I started thinking, well, maybe this shows them sometimes you do fail but you just keep going the best you can.
“And then suddenly I started jogging again and I ended up finishing better than I ever expected.
“I passed out when I crossed the finish line. I had to be put on an IV drip. But that race is equal to me with my grand final wins. It just meant so much to me to feel like I understood my kids, what they go through every day.”
While he’s devoted to his tribe, Ben is equally dedicated to his parents, who brought him up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
The Hannants – elder, middle and young – all live on a 4.8ha property at Tallebudgera. It’s a place where the kids can run free and his parents can return to the paradise they lost.
“We used to live on acreage in Bonogin until I was eight. My parents ran a cleaning company but they lost everything in the recession of the early 90s,” he says.
“There was a stage where we lived in a tent – two adults and 11 kids. Then we were in a two-bedroom apartment. It was rough but we always had each other.
“The first time I ever had a new pair of footy boots was when I signed with the Broncos.
“My parents did everything for our family. Now, on our land, we have two houses. One for us and one for them. It’s the least we can do.”
Ironically, Ben’s first big move away from Struggle Street is something that his mother still can’t come to terms with.
Back in 2005, although he had signed with the Roosters, Ben still worked a second job at the club – he was determined to invest the money he made from football, while living off the wage of his day job.
One morning, he had some spare change in his pocket and with it he made a decision that was both blessed and cursed.
“I decided, for the first time in my life, to buy a Scratchie. The guys at the club had to show me how to play, that’s how much of a novice I was.
“I won a free Scratchie. When I scratched that I’d won again … and when I scratched off the prize amount I saw all these zeros … and then a two. I’d won $200,000.
“I couldn’t believe it. It came at such a crucial time and made a huge difference.
“Of course, as a Christian, my mother still hasn’t forgiven me for gambling.”
While he may have strayed from the path that time, to his ultimate good fortune Ben has ignored the temptations set in the path of any young man playing professional sport.
He says it was tough to stick to his morals when he first started in the NRL, with many players giving him a hard time for his beliefs.
He says he never blindly followed in his parents’ devotion to their religion.
“I took a lot of time studying it and I came to the conclusion that this isn’t something I’ve inherited, it’s something I believe in.”
And on the home front, Ben says seven may not be quite enough.
Thinking of the handful my own two can be, I wonder if perhaps I need to return to church – if only to pray for patience.
Ben says the decision ultimately lies with his wife, but he wouldn’t say no to one more child. “Our family is our everything. We’ve had a lot of struggles but we’ve made it. We have so much love.
“My kids have even started their own business. It’s called Hannant’s Busy Little Bees – they’re selling honey from our farm. They sell out the front of the house and now we’re taking orders online.
“They made $700 their first weekend and decided to reinvest it to buy more hives. It’s fantastic, especially for Kye and Mia. It gives them responsibility and confidence.
“We have a bunch of animals on the farm too – dogs, cows, horses, sheep – and it’s their job to feed them all every day. There’s a lot of chaos in our house, but it’s organised chaos.”
Given my own two children struggle to feed their one dog, I’m feeling distinctly like an under-achiever.
But then I remember all of the trials and tribulations the Hannants have overcome. Perhaps it’s true that God only gives us what we can handle.
Maybe I should ask Ben to text me that so I don’t forget.