AGEING? JUST SAY NO WAY
ANN WASON MOORE ON GETTING OLD
IT’S a tale of two deaths. On the one cold, stiff hand we have Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk confirming a parliamentary inquiry into care for the dying, including voluntary euthanasia, in what could be the start of an end-oflife that’s both humane and dignified.
On the other freakishly animated hand, we have news that a team of Australian scientists has developed a cell reprogramming process that could regenerate the human body allowing an extended lifespan, reversing infertility, enabling paralysed people to walk and gifting seniors over 70 with the bodies of 20 year olds. (And no, I’m not just talking about Geoffrey Edelsten.)
So, depending on your luck and your bank account, you can die earlier but with less pain … or live on well into the next century – with a rig from the last. In fact, University of NSW and Harvard Professor and research director David Sinclair says he’s “on the record as saying the first person to live to 150 has already been born”.
I have to admit that the idea of living for another 110 years freaks me out a little bit more than peacefully passing in another 30.
Nope, not true. Both have me in a cold sweat.
Still, cutting off the last few painful months of life seems a lot more natural than extending it for another half century.
It’s not that I’m tired of life. Far from it. I love it, I’ve been blessed (and worked for) a joyous family life, a fulfilling job and fabulous friends. But nothing good can last forever … or can it?
While I’m extremely proud of these mad Aussie scientists for pushing the envelope, I would just like to ask them to consider the following points before we all start popping these pills:
1. Who is going to pay for it? I don’t mean the actual drug, we know who will pay for that – rich seniors. Already suburbs such as Main Beach and Paradise Waters contain more plastic than a child’s toy – although with considerably less moving parts. Surely they’re going to be the first knocking down Professor Sinclair’s door. Yet while these people will certainly be able to afford the drug, will they be able to pay for all of those extra years? If we suddenly see a cohort of “middle-aged” 70-pluses returning to the workforce, it could mean the minimum retirement age is pushed out to a delightful 135 years. Nobody’s superannuation is that super.
2. What about the children? It’s hard enough to get kids to move out by the age of 30 as it is, what are we setting ourselves up for if that age is no longer considered young(ish) adult but older child? We’ll finally get rid of the kids by the time our greatgrandchildren are born. Then there’s the added complications of enabling women to start having children “naturally” at the age of 60. No matter how long we can live for, after six decades flying solo on earth, it’s got to be hard to learn to adapt to the mental whims – and erratic sleeping patterns, or lack thereof – of young children. I foresee a future of childcare centres set up next door to senior respite clinics, both will be filled with crying attendees.
3. What if we don’t want to worry about a whole new world? Look, I care about the environment and stuff (actually, I kind of care more about “stuff” than the environment. Shhh), but I know this body will be checked out by the time the seas really start to rise and the tsunamis arrive. Yes, I know, I think of the children and all but … it’s kind of their problem, isn’t it? Yet if I’ve got another 90 years up my sleeve (and I don’t care about how good I’ll feel, by the time I’m 130 the state of my skin means I will ALWAYS be wearing sleeves. Even with extreme global warming), then I better start making a legit effort. What’s the point of finally figuring out how to extend life just to be taken out by a tidal wave?
Still, while these are just some of the concerns of a life almost everlasting, I’ll concede there are plenty of positives too.
Illness and accidents notwithstanding, imagine meeting all of those future generations. Imagine what my house will be worth? And just imagine … I might even live long enough to see a prime minister serve a full term.
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