OFF THE RECORD
THERE’S nothing like having a succession plan in place. Married for a decade, this non-shrinking violet decided that her husband had little chance of keeping her in the manner to which she would like to become accustomed. Casting her eye around for a suitable replacement she found someone much more suited to her needs. The money was there in bucket loads and even better he was much older. Now comes the succession. Realising her new husband would predecease her, she has now found a younger lover and is keeping him on ice until that happy day when she becomes a wealthy widow. Cold blooded and then some.
TRYING to make the arrival of a new female (single since you asked) to the street feel at home, this kind-hearted woman invited her over to enjoy dinner with her husband. They all got on and over the coming months became great friends. Then the relationship began to change with the newbie bypassing the wife and ringing the husband for advice on all manner of things. Realising it was quickly descending into “bunny boiler” territory the husband wisely advised his wife to cut all ties.
YOU try to be kind and look what happens. This mansplaining thing is really catching on. A highly educated young woman was at a party and was asked by one of the male guests what she did. She rattled off her area of expertise and said she lectured on that subject at university. Now a normal person would have nodded their head in admiration but not this chap. Having once read a teeny tiny article on the subject he then proceeded to lecture the lecturer on the sum total of his knowledge. Did she cut in and tell him that everything he was saying was incorrect? Nope she listened very politely and then moved on to find someone who didn’t know everything.
SOMETIMES you can just be dead unlucky. Out for a delectable tête-à-tête, these secretive lovers, both married to another, were happily giggling and holding hands in the back corner of an out-ofthe-way café. Who should walk in but one of her neighbours who looked somewhat startled at the situation. Never one to back away from an awkward situation, the loved-up one promptly introduced her companion as a stepbrother visiting from interstate. There’s brotherly love and then there is the other and this was definitely the latter. Wise in the ways of the world, the neighbour didn’t buy the feeble excuse but couldn’t wait to tell us – as you should.