Freedom in fashion fine but romper jumps shark
AT last, we have truly succeeded in achieving gender equity. No, I’m not talking about bridging the pay gap between men and women or attaining equal parental leave … but this is still high stakes.
I’m talking about equal opportunity in fashion.
Unfortunately, the “opportunity” appears to be looking like a magnificent wanker.
We women are used to this. We’ve done corsets, hobble skirts, blossom hats, poodle skirts, patterned tights, leg warmers, velour tracksuits, buttcrack jeans, shoulder pads, mom jeans and bubble skirts … and that’s just me in my junior high graduation photo.
There have been attempts to make men look as ridiculous as us over the past century (looking at you, 1970s), but it seems in this brave new age of gender rights the #mentoo movement has finally won.
Proof of this was posted by a friend during a shopping mission to Pacific Fair for her teenaged son.
While she was there to buy a hat for school camp, what she found was just pure camp.
There, hanging upon the racks at City Beach – a retailer not known for pushing the envelope of the fashion forward – was a romper. Aka jumpsuit. For men.
This was not a novelty animal onesie, but an outfit pitched as acceptable for today’s young male.
Featuring shorty shorts, connected to a button-up blouse and emblazoned with a playful bird print, I struggled to imagine just who would wear this.
Is this really what men want?
Not that it matters … we women never wanted sky-high stilettos, g-strings (particularly when they go sky high) or skinny jeans – but still we suck it up (or in) and strap them on.
Besides, we can’t pretend that men don’t deserve this.
For years now I’ve been working to raise awareness for the millions of cold ankles suffering around Australia thanks to the penchant for millennial men to wear tightly rolled pants paired with boat shoes and no socks.
I know climate change is real, but do we really need to dress for the floods right now?
And then there’s the whole manscaping business. I’m all for grooming but some of the trends our boys are being sold are just … well, maybe I should share some photos of my perm days to show how misleading a hairdresser can be.
While I’m now used to seeing bushy bearded men at every cafe, there’s a new trend on its way – the French crop. It sounds good, right?
I’m here to tell you it’s just a bad ’80s bowl cut with a flashy name. Say non, s’il vous plait.
Still, I think we should take this opportunity to stand shoulder to bird-print-shoulder with our male buddies.
Brothers and sisters, it’s okay not to follow trends. And despite my written ridicule of the romper and certain (and hopefully silent) judgment should I see any male sporting one, go ahead and wear it if you like it.
The fact is, according to research from Euromonitor, women may still be fashion’s biggest spenders, but when you look at how fast sales are growing, men now lead the race. So let’s help the boys use that power for good.
God knows that until gender equity is truly realised, their voices are far more likely to be heard than ours.
Let’s show them that what they wear is their own affair. Sure, we may consider it a sartorial sin, but that doesn’t mean we get to degrade who they are because of what they wear.
It says more about the critic than the fashion victim.
Let’s teach our children too that clothing can be not just an expression of who you are, but also what you can do (looking at you, activewear).
I’d love to see schools more interested in educating boys how not to ogle a female body than dictating to girls that they should cover up – particularly when that’s pretty much a moot point when it’s time for swimming carnivals.
I’m not advocating boob tubes and hot pants on free dress days, but surely leggings and a shirt should not be considered questionable. Let’s bring common sense back into style.
To prove my dedication to this equal opportunity fashion, I’m going to have to make my peace with that men’s birdprint romper.
Let’s just say my husband is going to be in fine feather.
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