OFF THE RECORD
GOOD help is hard to find, which we know is not a universal problem because most of us get through life doing all the little things ourselves. However one cashed-up couple may now be regretting being nasty and tight-fisted to a longsuffering domestic. Having been promised some extra money for duties above and beyond her pay scale, they decided to renege on the deal. To say the news wasn’t received well is an understatement. Firstly, she quit on the spot and then she went off to see about legal help. Finally she started letting loose some of the dirty little secrets she had been so careful to keep to herself. Let’s just say that she knows who has been sneaking out and with whom when the husband was away. Too, too delicious.
SOMEONE is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Walking into an office he noticed what was an unattended mobile phone resting behind the front desk. He picked it up, looked at it and then quickly put it in a pocket before exiting stage left. The perfect crime or so he thought. In reality the phone was actually a security camera which live streamed the criminal mastermind’s heist to a server in the sky. By peering into the front he also very kindly provided a perfect portrait of himself to those who specialise in apprehending those wascally types who take other people’s property. D’Oh!
THAT was quick! Here we were thinking that they had finally found in each other the perfect match. Sadly reports from the matrimonial front line have indicated that they are no longer an item. While they were a perfect couple when they were courting, the reality of living up close and personal seems to have made them realise that they each like their own company too much to share it with another. Now it will be a case of ‘he said, she said’ and their many mutual friends will very quickly have to choose sides as they seek to blame the other.
ELECTIONS are stressful on all parties and especially so last Saturday for one of our local politicians. Out on the hustings to rally the troops, he opened the trunk of his car to drop off some election material and discovered a puss in boot. To wit, the family feline had seen all the papers and banners, thought it was a cosy place for a catnap and jumped in. As the cat looked happy and content, and rather than run the risk of claw marks on his expensive upholstery, he decided to leave things as they were until he could drop Felix back home.