On the fast track to a fad diet addiction
I’VE always been a dirty girl. And the kitchen is where I really go wild. While every millennial worth their pinch of pink Himalayan salt is all about clean eating, I can’t resist my passion for foods that are very, very bad. My ideal threesome involves sugar, carbs and alcohol. And believe me, I could go all night.
But this hedonistic housewife has come hard up against the pleasure paradox. My pursuit of the ultimate food high has in fact left me low … low in iron and a few essential vitamins and minerals as well.
And so I’ve found myself joining the fad for fad diets. For the last 30-plus days, I have avoided sugar, carbs and milk … and life. Actually, that’s not true. The ketogenic plan still allows me to drink wine, so I am surviving – if not always sober.
In fact, the Gold Coast and its ever-present body consciousness means that it’s the perfect place to discover the next diet. No matter your fad food obsession – keto,
paleo, whole30, 5:2 – there’s a cafe on the Coast that literally caters for you.
And while I hate myself for becoming one of those uberannoying, active-wear-clad women who insist on a special menu packed with grass-fed butter (who knew that butter even ate?) and dressings on the side, I can’t deny that my body is leaner and I’ve packed in more real nutrients in one month than possibly the last decade. (Also, just to clarify: I do not actually don active wear.)
But I think it may be time to quit keto. Despite cleaning up my dirty habits, the amount of headspace that this diet takes has to be detrimental to my mental health – if not my physical health.
It makes me wonder about this burgeoning “clean eating” culture. Are we so obsessed with – yet disconnected from – our bodies that we can’t just eat what’s served? (I’ll excuse those with allergies. Real allergies.)
Speaking to an expert in eating disorders recently, she said an increasing trend is to disguise these dietary illnesses under the excuse of “healthy eating”.
And it’s true. Restricting carbs, calories and even fasting can now be considered normal.
In fact, a friend of mine has just finished a seven-day water fast.
Yes, that’s right. Seven days where all he consumed was water – Fiji water, of course, for its purported ability to remove aluminium from the body.
I do wonder whether he was bingeing on something a little more powerful when he made this decision to forego food.
Seriously, could there be a more first-world eating regime? Back in the ’80s, we just called this diet “Ethiopia”.
But he said he just wanted to see what would happen, after all, he’d “read on the internet” that there are plenty of health benefits to fasting.
Look, anything based on internet research does make me worry. (Although guess where I learned all about keto?)
Even more concerning is that the extreme and restrictive nature of these fad diets can only encourage obsession. To be honest, I’m not even really sure how to jump off my own keto train.
If I just go back to my old life of cappuccinos, cookie dough and carbs, will my blood sugar spike straight through my brain? Will all the weight of worrying about net carbs transfer directly to my hips and thighs?
Regardless, there has been 100 x $100 RUNNER-UP PRIZES TO BE WON! one positive side effect of this diet journey. I don’t know whether it’s the extra vitamins or energy or all the full fat that comes with keto, but my husband is really enjoying the experience.
That’s right, I’ve unleashed my inner goddess and discovered the joy of … cooking.
Casseroles, curries, homemade meat pies – I’m on fire. And yes, OK, once I literally was in flames but I blame the gas cooktop for that.
I’m not sure if, once I’ve dropped the demand for lowcarb meals, my desire to do dinner will continue … but I’m into experimentation.
Move over Naked Chef, here comes the Dirty Cook.
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