OFF THE RECORD
WE’VE had the Naked Chef and now we have a business bloke who is revealing his penchant for gardening in the buff. How do we know? Well, he lives in a semi-rural area far away from prying eyes and has taken to pruning and mulching his bushes and trees while getting a skinful of vitamin D. Unfortunately, one of his near neighbours – who couldn’t wait to tell us – is an amateur astronomer and just happened to swing his telescope around to observe an earthly full moon. And the tale of the tape? Difficult to detail apparently because it is winter and the wind has been from the south.
IT seems someone hasn’t got the memo about the era of “Me Too” and the reporting of even the smallest of transgressions. An attractive blonde had an idea she wanted to pitch to a big organisation.
By chance she mentioned it to a casual acquaintance – let’s call him Mr Sleaze. Seeing an opportunity, he immediately started big-noting himself. Naturally he was a close personal friend of the people in power and only he could put in a good word to ensure she got the approval. There was just one catch – she needed to be “very” friendly. Now she is thinking of taping and then outing his behaviour to the organisation he purports to represent.
GETTING married seemed like such a simple thing to do. Hire a venue, book the catering and then send out invites to your nearest and dearest. The only problem for this high-profile couple is that word soon got out about the impending nuptials and before you could say “I do!” every wannabe in town was badgering them for an invite. “It’s not like we know these people either – they just heard it was on and wanted to come along to eat, drink and party for nothing at the reception,” said the groom. Maybe an elopement overseas and a BYO party when they get back might be easier.
HAVING just come out of a long-term relationship, she was a little surprised when this serial playboy of the western suburbs got in touch to ask her out. He had heard of the break-up, offered his commiserations but then told her that he had always fancied her from afar. She went on one date and they got on very well but now she is worried that he may be unable to change his wicked ways. Having had her heart broken in April she’s not looking for the same thing to happen in September. Decisions, decisions.