Rich reward for disciples of Peoples’ Tractor Collective

DOWN here at the Red Star Tractor Collective No.12 in Burleigh Heads, we eagerly scan the

Bulletin letters to the editor each day, in the hope that your lively correspondent from the Australian Coal Growers’ Association, Mr Peter Campion has dispatched yet another directive from his underground bunker in Tolga, North Queensland.

Tolga, in case you wondered is a little burg just outside of Cairns, and is of course famous for its Kellogg’s Fruit Loop factory and the Australian National Anthracite Museum.

Our patience was rewarded this week when we caught sight of Peter’s letter about those dreadful green types carping on and on about our pending collective destruction and extinction. Well old Peter didn’t pull any punches this time. He let them have it with both oil barrels. And then to our great pleasure he finally invoked the two magic words that we have been longing to hear for so long, “George Soros”.

George, in case you don’t know, is the evil mastermind who plots night and day to bring about Peter’s much-feared “world government”. He is, according to Peter, a socialist billionaire. A bit of an oxymoron I think given that the words “billionaire” and “socialist” rather tend to cancel each other out. But we best not let the facts get in the way of a good story.

In summary, Peter’s still busy relentlessly hunting down those Reds, Commies, Greenies and socialist billionaires. So well done Peter. Let’s keep this witch hunt going and down at the Peoples’ Tractor Collective No.12 we can’t wait for the next installment. P DOUGHERTY, BURLEIGH HEADS