One coach too many
TUTORS, trainers and now life coaches. Welcome to the wonderful world of students in 2020.
Just when I thought I was acing life as a school mum, social media has provided yet another opportunity to engage in some good oldfashioned parental guilt.
According to Instagram stories, the secret of successful students is a life coach. And by The Secret, I mean the selfhelp book that promotes the “law of attraction” – where if you think it, it will come.
In fact, in its 2017 Global Consumer Awareness Survey, the International Coaching Federation found that 35 per cent of Generation Z respondents (those born between 1995 and 2014) already have a life coach.
Forget reading, writing and arithmetic, the coolest kids are now being taught how to manifest their own destiny through the power of positive thinking.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Look, I am all for optimism, positivity and resilience. I do believe that the way we think governs the way we act. I do not, however, believe that by visualising myself rich I will win the lottery. But then, maybe that’s why I’m a Lotto loser?
Regardless, when it comes to kids, this just seems like another experiment in hothousing our children. It’s not enough that they’re assigned homework in prep or that they need a course in workplace health and safety to enjoy the playground, now we need to analyse and coach the last few drops of joy out of their age of innocence.
By all means, if a child is struggling mentally or emotionally, seek help. Whether it’s to educate yourself to better help them or simply taking them to the GP for more guidance, there is no shame – or there should be no shame – in taking that next step.
After all, doctors, psychologists and counsellors are accredited and educated specialists.
If your child is struggling academically or simply needs some structure, by all means seek a tutor. Again, it’s easy to check the accreditation or experience.
And then there’s the original coaches – sport coaches. Importantly, they’re generally employed – or have volunteered – to help a group of kids work together towards a common goal. It’s not a oneon-one experience unless the child is a physical prodigy. And managing those expectations is an issue in itself. (Well, I assume it is. I’ve never had any personal experience in that realm.)
Taken separately, all of these specialists serve a purpose. But taken together, they present a picture of overwhelming pressure for our kids. We may not say it explicitly, but the implied message is that we expect our children to be peak performers mentally, emotionally, academically and physically.
And now we’re throwing life coaches into the mix.
What bothers me about life coaching, especially for children, is that not only does it present yet another pressure for parents and students, but it seems like a pseudoscience.
Does anyone hold a PhD in life coaching? No. Because it doesn’t exist.
Online business magazine Quartz reports that although life coaching certification schemes exist – some respected and recognised, many not – there is no singular regulator, licensing body, or governing board. Anyone, anywhere, quite literally, can call themselves a coach and practise across international borders.
While coaches are meant to refer out to a therapist or specialist for serious issues like depression, addiction, chronic anxiety, childhood trauma, or self-harm, it’s a fact of the industry that there is absolutely no oversight or regulation ensuring that they do. The same risk applies to personal boundaries – or lack thereof – between coaches and clients. Where a therapist would be suspended, at the very least, for a physical relationship with a patient, coaches are free to transform their relationship from the professional to the personal.
I have no doubt there are some fantastic life coaches, but without appropriate rules and regulations, why would you risk accidentally hiring a cowboy to coach your kid?
School can be a tough time for students, and there’s no doubt that experts can help in specific areas at certain times.
But the truth is that parents are the real life coach. And we shouldn’t let our role be outsourced so easily.
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