Isolation creates tension
But for many, that’s not of a sexual nature
The pandemic is bad … but the drought could be worse. I’m not talking about rain. I’m talking about sex. Or lack thereof.
Whether you call it social or physical distancing, the truth is that the coronavirus crisis is making any intercourse a very risky business.
And at the frontline of this sexual disaster are the singletons.
No, Tinder hasn’t been shut down – but anything other than online activity certainly has. While hooking up with a stranger has never been the safest practice, never has it been more deadly. If the STDs don’t get you, the virus will. Sexy times indeed.
It’s like we’re in a worldwide game of musical chairs, and anyone who didn’t already have a partner when the music stopped (and the lockdowns started) is screwed. Or rather, not screwed.
Even the unmarrieds have been under threat, with noncohabiting couples at one stage warned that any attempt to break the drought was in fact breaking the law.
Fortunately, officials later backflipped and have allowed these partners to continue their relationships.
But while they may be visiting each other, are they still visiting the bedroom?
What about married or de facto couples – are we using all this extra time on our hands in our beds?
History shows that enforced lockdowns often mean an increase in the birthrate nine months later. Research from the London School of Economics shows that a nationwide blackout in Colombia in the early 1990s led to a boom of unplanned babies.
Alas, I’m not expecting a generation C baby boom …. even though I really want to use the term Quaran-teens when they reach puberty.
After all, blackouts mean candlelight, no TV, no distractions … the bedroom really is the most entertaining option available.
Compare that to the current situation: all the lights are on and literally everybody is home. There’s plenty of tension, but none of it is sexual.
Already we’ve been warned that divorces on the Gold Coast are tipped to skyrocket after coronavirus isolation ends due to couples being forced to spend 24/7 together.
Issues like finances, stress and poor communication could compound and put pressure on already strained relationships according to lawyers who anticipate a rise in marriage bust-ups.
That’s obviously the worst case scenario, but even if couples keep it together emotionally, mentally and financially, they still might struggle sexually.
In fact, even the thirsty singles on Twitter don’t really feel like doing it anyway.
Users have been lamenting that “general panic and despair” have led to the sudden disappearance of their libido, others describe feeling “unappealing” or wanting to just cuddle and eat snacks instead.
In a poll of just over 9000 people from NBC News, only 24 per cent said the coronavirus outbreak has positively affected their sex lives
It’s a sad sexual time indeed.
But hey, take heart that if you’re not feeling in the mood, you’re not alone.
And if you are alone, well, you can always simply take matters into your own hands, so to speak.
For those of us partnered up and locked down, why not turn the bedroom into a truly personal gym? There are plenty of fun and free exercises you can do together.
Let’s take the pressure and expectations off and try to love each other in whatever way we can manage.
And maybe when the lockdowns are one day lifted, we’ll see a rebirth of romance.
After all, Tinder has reported a 12 per cent increase in daily conversations in the UK, which on average in March were lasting eight per cent longer compared to
February. In Italy, conversations are lasting
29 per cent longer than they did a month ago.
That means that people are taking the time to get to know each other, rather than just booking in a booty call.
And we may still get our generation C baby boom … just a little later than perhaps expected.
Complutense University of Madrid professor emeritus David Reher, a baby boom expert, says once exceptional times of crisis have passed, there is a spurt in conceptions thanks to remarriages, rejoined families, or people who just resumed sexual activity.
Think of it as a second coming.
Sorry … not even a pandemic can dry up the sex jokes.
Read Ann Wason Moore every Tuesday and Saturday in the