Embrace opposite and be ‘appy’
IT’s opposite day. Actually, it’s opposite year. So go ahead, download a tracking app from the Government … because during this pandemic, everything we’ve ever believed has been turned upside down – for the good of our health.
After all, parents are actively encouraging their children to sit in front of screens all day, politicians have all but shut down the economy and hugs are practically a physical assault.
The release of the COVIDSafe app just proves the contrariness of the coronavirus crisis.
Judging by the online comments and interactions with older members of my own family, it seems those who are most opposed to it are also those most at risk – our senior citizens.
We’re all locked inside for the sake of their lives, and rightly so, yet they’re protesting an application which could not just protect them, but our way of life.
Look, I understand that technology and the elderly don’t always mix. And yes, that may be a gross exaggeration … but based on my experiences with my own mother I can safely say that teaching her to download an app would kill me far faster than any virus.
It’s better for both our mental and physical health if I just breach the 1.5m limit and install the damn thing myself.
I’ll admit that I’m not someone who generally believes in government conspiracies and cover-ups, so maybe that’s why it’s a nobrainer to download the COVIDSafe app for not just myself but my children too.
And I’m not alone, with more than 1 million Australians downloading the coronavirus tracing app within hours of its release.
Using bluetooth technology, COVIDSafe keeps a list of other users you’ve been within 1.5m of for more than 15 minutes. The app is designed to make it much easier for authorities to track anyone an infected person may have come into contact with – but so far it has proven controversial, sparking privacy and security fears.
Prime Minister Scott Morrison insists only health authorities will have access to the data, and already members of the opposition Labor Party are busily downloading the technology – surely a strong sign of its security.
Interestingly, it’s those who I would be least likely to trust – looking at you, Pauline Hanson and Barnaby Joyce – who are most opposed to the app. Perhaps it’s a case of psychological projection (they are untrustworthy and therefore do not trust others) … or perhaps it’s simply opposite year striking again.
The bottom line is that this app will not just safeguard our health, but Mr Morrison has suggested a strong uptake could lead to a relaxation of social and business trading restrictions.
Believe me, if that means my children can return to school even one day earlier, I will happily sell their personal information to any bidder.
The only scenario in which I would not buy into this free app is if it was recommended by US President Donald Trump.
Talk about opposites … our tiny little Anzac countries down under are coming out on top, while the selfprofessed leader of the free world – a “very stable genius” indeed – is busily recommending the injection of bleach and disinfectants to combat coronavirus.
Of course, he insists that was simply misread sarcasm. It must be another case of opposite year – where joking about people’s lives in the midst of a deadly pandemic is peak hilarity.
Meanwhile, still over in America, we suddenly see all the doomsday preppers out on the streets protesting to be let out of the bunkers they’ve so doggedly defended.
See, the world hasn’t gone mad. It’s just opposite year.
But if we want to override this topsy-turvy time, it comes down to embracing the uncomfortable. And I don’t mean hugs.
I’m tired of living in this world where we’re not meant to see each other, where Gold Coasters are not meant to hang out at the beach, where Pacific Fair looks like the scene of a zombie apocalypse.
But that’s nothing compared to those who are tired of being jobless, who are tired of being on welfare, tired of worrying about the wellbeing of their loved ones.
So please, just download the damn app.
And that’s no joke, even if it is opposite year.
Read Ann Wason Moore every Tuesday and Saturday in the