Time to be kind to each other
HOW TO FIX YOUR LOCKDOWN RELATIONSHIP AND BRING BACK THE ROMANCE
Spring re-energises our love and connection for one another and this spring will be more important than ever given all we have faced through the COVID-19 crisis.
MELISSA FERRARI
It’s not only health that needs a reboot this year. Many couple are reporting lockdown breakup woes as domestic pressures mount during the pandemic. Romantic partners working from home are cracking under the strain of too much togetherness.
Relationships Australia research shows 42 per cent of people experienced a negative change in their relationship, while 52 per cent spent more time and effort maintaining their partnership in lockdown.
But don’t order the removal boxes just yet.
Clinical psychotherapist Julie Sweet of Seaway Counselling and Psychotherapy says there has been an increase in relationships ending and couples seeking psychotherapy.
“Couples are experiencing increased conflict because they can’t go to an external place, causing irritability and conflict,” she says.
“Some clients have disclosed the additional pressure they are experiencing as a direct result of the pandemic is the changed patterns of behaviours between themselves and their partner.
“These differences range from increased irritability to conflict, mood fluctuations, bouts of depression and anxiety.”
While there’s no magic solution for having a better relationship, there are many small and significant things partners can do to help each other during these tough times.
Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and bring back the romance.
Ms Sweet says individual psychotherapy and couples’ counselling is a good place to start.
“A couple that may have already been under-resourced before the pandemic is susceptible to new problems, so it makes sense to get professional help,” she says.
Alternatively, sit down and discuss everything on your shared plate, and make a plan for handling it as a team. Create a common calendar of tasks and responsibilities, and carve out specific times for completing them.
Experts say spring is the perfect time for couples to reset goals and renew their commitment to each other.
“Spring has always been a season of renewal as we emerge from the coldness of winter,” relationship expert Melissa Ferrari says. “For couples, it’s the season of love, romance, picnics together and lying cuddled in the sun. It reenergises our love and connection for one another and this spring will be more important than ever given all we have faced through the COVID-19 crisis.”
Ms Ferrari rari believes small investments nts in our everyday relationships ips can offer huge benefits.
“Many people are stressed, fatigued, suffering uffering insomnia and worried ed at the present, so make it a priority to take good care of each other and be there emotionally tionally for your partner,” she says.
“Check k in with them regularly, ask them mindfully how they are going with the current conditions onditions and keep an eye out t for any sign of stress or anxiety.” nxiety.”
Set some me healthy boundaries. es. If you’re both working from rom home, carve out separate ate work spaces and try to give each other space during ng the day. Limit your workaday kaday interactions ns to agreed break times. es.
Try to share a few things you’re grateful teful for every few days.
The more ore gratitude you express, the he more often you’ll find yourself elf noticing little moments to appreciate.
“This will help you to avoid running into nto problems down the track,” ” Ms Ferrari says.
“Your relationship is the foundation n of wellness, happiness and vitality.
“Communicate well to make sure e you’re both on the same page e with each other in what you want out of your relationship ip and life together.”