PaulyFenech

Comedian, star of The All New Monty: Guys & Gals

Do you get your five a day?

Yes I certainly do. Especially the fruit … well, does alcohol count as fruit? Wine maybe? Actually, I start the day with a watermelon, lime, pineapple and honey juice. It makes me feel like I’m on holidays in Bali. I cook with a lot of vegies and fish or chicken most days, and I cook most meals myself because, like most control freaks, I think I can do it better than the next person.

Have you ever dieted?

I dieted as a boxer and I usually try to get a little healthier before each TV show that I do. Exercise, move more and eat less. No pasta, bread or rice and the weight comes off very easily if you need to lose it.

Sleep or sex?

Pfft sex! Your sex would have to be pretty crappy if you traded it for sleep. I’m 47. Ask me again at 55; I’ll probably pick sleep.

What is your absolute blowout meal?

My blowout meal is my homemade pizza. I make everything from scratch – the dough, the sauce, everything.

Have you had any broken bones?

Yes … broken head, broken nose, broken arm, broken toe, broken hand … all courtesy of a rough and wild youth. Broken head – I was running on stage doing some stand-up comedy and jumped too high through the stage door and smashed the top of my skull. I broke my arm as a boy being chased by a german shepherd. I jumped a fence to escape, then fell and broke my wrist. I broke a knuckle in a fight with the school captain when I was in year 9. It was over a girl; isn’t it always? During my time as a boxer I broke my nose then had it completely smashed when I was run over by a hit-and-run driver.

What health advice would you have given yourself 10 years ago?

Give up alcohol. I’d probably also tell my younger self to travel … because in the future there’s a thing called COVID.

Would you have plastic surgery? Botox?

Duh, anyone on TV will do something at some stage. They lie and deny. I would get a penis enlargement I think, then some of those big inflatable lips all the girls have now, so I can do those same emotionless poses they all do on Instagram. I would also make myself taller - I’m joking, in case you think that’s serious.