Red-ball shock in crazy world

NINE days ago, before the Test began at the MCG, Steve Smith caught a ball during a slips drill, looked at it as if there was something unusual about the most common of objects and said something like: “This is the first time I’ve seen one of these in a year.”

It was hard to comprehend what he was talking about but he was, in fact, essentially right.

Smith and the Australian side had not played a Test match with a red ball for the best part of 12 months.

They had played with white balls sporadically through 2020. A series in the UK, South Africa, the IPL, the limited-overs series against India.

They had played with a pink ball at Adelaide Oval when India conceded the advantage to the locals and agreed to a day-night match.

It was only when they got to Melbourne late last month that they broke out the oldfashioned red Kookaburra.

Hence, Smith was somewhat startled to have the fog lift and be confronted with a memory of a past life.

The cricket being played this summer is, like the Australian side at the moment, a cobbled together affair. The Sydney game is just the second red-ball Test in 12 extraordinary months.

Things have become so commonly strange that what was common is now strange in sport and life.

In Sydney and Melbourne there have been moments when it is odd, if not alarming, to see an unmasked human face. When they first locked us down it was unsettling to witness any physical intimacy on the screen. What, people used to touch? Used to play cricket with a red ball?

The micro climate of cricket is a distillation of the broader experience. On Monday, both players and support staff boarded a charter flight to Sydney and made their way in buses to a hotel that had been cleared of patrons and given over to them exclusively.

Sounds good until you do it for three months, four months, five months, six. What do they who only play cricket know? The answer could be: hotel rooms, cricket grounds, limited freedom, nets, masks, swabs, the company of other cricketers.

On Monday, all of those on the flight and the buses had their noses and throats probed for the virus — as most of us have.

This latest invasion of the cavities comes as a result of five Indians sitting inside at a restaurant in a shopping centre.

The revelation of which sparked all manner of outrage and indignation. How dare they wander into the public lane.

What about the Sydney Test? In what parallel universe do we find ourselves? The authorities say crowds are all good but best not chant or scream. Then they see the weather forecast and start to worry and so they’ve dialled down the crowds.

Oh, people from certain postcodes aren’t welcome and people from rural areas are advised not to attend because they might take a bit of the city back to the country.

Chief medical officers wouldn’t take their parents.

Stand by for the advice that it is best to breathe in, but not out if you have been at a certain bottle shop.

Some days you wonder if you maybe should have listened to the man at Woodstock when he said the brown acid might be problematic. Maybe it’s the fluoride. Or our fillings. Or Ken Keysey’s Merry Pranksters are camped by the town water supply.

Thank god then for Nathan Lyon, a man whose rural common sense is myxomatosis to such musings.

“I know there are a few people from both squads who have been in a bubble for close to six months now, but in my eyes it’s a very small sacrifice for us to get out there and play the game that we love and put a lot of smiles on a lot of people’s faces around the world,” Lyon intoned flatly on a zoom call.

“It (biosecure “bubble” life) has all been OK in my eyes. We just need to suck it up and get on with it.

“People make mistakes, we get that. But it’s just making sure we go out there and worry about what’s happening and try and prepare the best way we can for a Test match, and not look too much into anything else that the media’s blowing up.

“We’ve got to listen to the advice of our medical people. Here at Cricket Australia we’re lucky we’ve got an amazing medical team, but let’s just suck it up and get on with it and stop complaining.”

There were some concerns Lyon’s family might be unable to attend his 100th Test in Brisbane, but it is small beer to the former curator.

“I’m very fortunate,” Lyon said. “It’s only really my brother in a hot spot and he’s said he can’t get up there (Brisbane), which is disappointing, but he’ll no doubt be at the Sydney Test match.

“For my parents and my partner, 100 per cent they’ll be there. I’m pretty confident of that.”

Fingers crossed, Nathan.