Byron ‘a Disney for dropouts’

IT’S known for its lighthouse, its beaches and having some of the most expensive property in Australia.

But now Byron Bay has another, unwanted moniker after being voted “Sh*t Town of the Year” for 2021.

With 30 per cent of the votes cast, Byron was a clear winner over second-placed Caboolture (18.5 per cent) and third-placed Port Pirie (18 per cent) in the poll run by comedians and ‘Sh*t Towns of Australia’ authors Rick Furphy and Geoff Rissole.

In their book, the town is described as “a Disneyland for dropouts, the Gold Coast for people who prefer their Meter Maids to have hairy pits.”

“It’s the sort of place that corporate shills on their second divorce fantasise about moving to so they can open a yoga retreat,” they write.

“Overrun by tourists and littered with their half-eaten takeaways and used condoms, the only people who actually live in Byron Bay are pretentious trustafarians who turned up for Splendour in the Grass and forgot to go home after the mushies wore off.”

Mr Rissole told the Bulletin thousands of people from the pair’s half a million social media followers had taken part in the poll. He said people “loved giving Byron a rinse” and was disappointed the town had torn down its controversial “disco dong” statue, saying the phallic structure “summed the place up perfectly”.

The authors visited Byron and the Gold Coast for their new book, Sh*t Towns of Australia: The Great Aussie Road Trip, between lockdowns.

They describe the Gold Coast as “hotels masquerading as a city, where Australia keeps its unemployed Kiwi scaffolders while they wait for their shot at a third rate reality show, and has-been strippers with multiple children to multiple men from multiple outlaw motorcycle gangs.”

They have also run polls for sh*t city, won by Townsville, and sh*t suburb, won by Mount Druitt in Sydney.