Pushing the boundaries

TEENAGERS will really begin to push the boundaries, challenge authority and increase their risktaking behaviour by the age of 14 or 15, according to experts.

This also coincides with a peak in online drama and bullying.

So the middle years of high school can be tricky.

“Year 9 is when they test boundaries and are more critical of teachers and parents,” The Quirky Kid Clinic chief executive Kimberley O’Brien said.

“They will start to want to go out at night and be a bit more independent, which is great.

“But you have to hope they’re making the right choices.”

The Cyber Safety Lady Leonie Smith, who advises parents on how to help their child navigate the online world safely, said at this age some parents were tempted to spy on their kids by secretly accessing their phones.

She advised against this because it was important to build trust, but she said parents should insist on spot checks while their child was with them.

Ms Smith advised parents to sit down with their teen and go through the pitfalls of the online world with them, including sexting, pornography, bullying and self-harm material, and let them know if anything went wrong online, they could come to them for help.

“I’ve worked with families where children have attempted self-harm,” she said.

“They need help with selfharm material their child has found on TikTok and Instagram.

“There are communities based around self-harm hashtags.

“It’s not about helping those who are self-harming, it is about encouraging them.”

Ms Smith said it was important for parents to be across these issues.

Dr O’Brien said there had been an increase in self-harm among teenagers to the point where it was becoming “quite common”.

“Self-harm is a cry for help, usually based around frustration, and what they need is a lot of fresh options, more physical exercise and someone to talk to, like a psychologist or counsellor,” she said.

Alcohol and Drug Foundation chief executive Erin Lalor said parents needed to recognise that by year 9 their child might be starting to experiment with illegal substances.

She said the best thing parents could do was be a role model, to not base their own social lives around alcohol and let their children know they could call them if they had gone to a party and had too much to drink.

“They need to know if things go wrong, you are there,” Ms Lalor said.

“At the same time you want to let them know there are clear expectations and consequences.”

Ms Lalor advised zero alcohol before the age of 18, as research showed it could affect a child’s mental health.