Students have big decisions to make

Parents shouldn’t micromanage a child’s final years

PARENTS should not micromanage their children’s lives in the final years of high school and they should be careful not to judge their career choices either, experts say.

The Quirky Kid Clinic chief executive and child psychologist Kimberley O’Brien said family relationships can suffer if a child has a passion for something, but their parents don’t approve.

“There are big choices to be made in the final years,” she said.

“Explore the options with your young person.

“If the child has a passion for something and they think their parents don’t support them, it can be an issue. “Try not to be judgmental. “The parent-child relationship is more important.

“It’s about letting go.” Kids First Children’s Services founder Sonja Walker said by Years 11 and 12 children “are feeling the weight of their family’s expectations” and “not wanting to disappoint”.

She said it was important to remember that “school is not a magical experience for everyone”.

“The pressure is really intense for many of them and school is not their favourite place to be,” she said.

“Most are really done with it after 13 years.”

Ms Walker said she advised parents to give their kids lots of options by helping them to learn how to drive, supporting them in getting a part-time job to build skills, and when they are 18 getting their Responsible Service of Alcohol and barista qualifications.

She warned parents not to be “job snobs” and support children who get work in supermarkets and fast food outlets, as many of these organisations have great training and career opportunities.

Another battleground during the HSC year is getting children off phones so they can concentrate on studying.

The Cyber Safety Lady,

Leonie Smith, who offers parents help in managing their children’s online world, said teens should be encouraged to switch off their phones or turn off notifications while they study.

“Tell them you are there to help,” she said.

“But you may have to let them gently fail in order for them to learn.

“If they miss an assignment deadline then they will have to face the consequences.

“You shouldn’t be micromanaging their time at this age. It doesn’t help them.”

She added it was also important that outside of study time that parents create situations where children can get off their devices and be outside.

“Getting kids off their devices is really hard.

“Keep making offline opportunities.”