OFF THE RECORD

PUTIN and Zelensky, Harry and the Royal Family, Darth Vader and The Rebellion – just some examples of opposing forces that shouldn’t be in the same room. To that we can add these two dames who have been figuratively scratching and clawing at each for the past decade.

Nobody quite knows who or what started it but those around them always know to keep them apart lest the War of the Poseurs erupt again. That was until a recent function where the organiser didn’t know about the feud and unwisely seated them within spitting distance of each other. Thankfully it didn’t descend into designer handbags at two paces but catty remarks could be heard above the usual chitchat. Peace in our time will hopefully be soon.

BY failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. That wellknown axiom applies to many things but perhaps this sweet young thing should apply it to her social outings. If one is preparing to go out and planning to drink half one’s body weight in shriek juice, then perhaps one should consider wearing knickers. Falling down drunk and slumping spreadeagled on the ground with everything exposed is perhaps not the best way to present yourself to total strangers. Compounding the error was that some of those passing by were gleefully snapping images of the vision splendid presumably to post on social media. Some things are best left unseen.

THERE are many rules for life but one that should be writ large is that you are only as good as your last gig. Perhaps someone should remind this chap of that when next he rings up demanding an invite to a big event because of his ‘great’ importance. Of course his grandeur is entirely selfappointed and is based upon a job he had at the beginning of this century and for which he received a teensy amount of press. In his mind he has removed the date of the clippings and those moments of glory have become full-fledged street parades where his name was lauded and palm fronds were spread before his feet. Walter Mitty is alive and well and living life in the past.