Call goes out for few good men to check in with mates
The Gold Coast needs a few good men right now. The kind who lean over the fence and ask the neighbour they might have waved at but never spoken to how he is doing as they take five minutes to be real with each other. Think Tim ‘The Tool Man’ Taylor and Wilson in the 1990s sitcom, Home Improvement.
Because most men are terrible at doing that sort of thing, despite it being exactly what so many of them need right now, three weeks on from the devastation of the Christmasnew year storms.
We all have a tipping point in life – we can only handle so many stressful events, and make no mistake, we are all going to have stress or anxiety in our lives because we’re human, and human things happen to us.
And fellas, you, I’m sorry to break it to you, are the worst at listening to and doing something about your own mental health needs.
Too many of you don’t reach out for help at times of trauma, whether it be the loss of a house or a person or a pet, property or whatever – that loss of control to a much greater power like those damned weather gods.
For plenty of people who were badly affected by the Christmas storms, it’s not hard for them to imagine that any clouds off in the distance are coming to deliver more thunder and lightning and another deluge and winds to tear the roof off their house or topple trees … because the clouds did that night. It’s a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, and it’s as real as it gets.
Many men doing it tough feel like their worth as family protector is lessened, even taken away.
But if we had a few more good men sharing their stories and being vulnerable about their struggles, it would give others strength to know they too are normal human beings experiencing normal human emotions.
If we all talk, as people and communities, we’ll be stronger and have a much healthier growth mindset to make us better problemsolvers when we need to be.
When I was at the supermarket just after the storms, the lady at the checkout asked me how I was, was I all right, did I have any damage at home, things like that – and it meant so much because she was a total
stranger making a connection.
See, we women aren’t bad at this sort of stuff.
One of my favourite quotes on the human condition is from the late American futures researcher John Naisbitt who captured it beautifully when he said if humans are treated like we matter, we thrive.
If you think I’m being tough on the blokes, rest assured none of us are immune from anxiety because, as Billy Joel and I keep saying, we’re only human.
Indeed, spare a thought for many of the younger Australians who are still carrying the scars of social isolation from Covid; the pressures of catching up with their schooling; and the
burden of greater awareness to everything going wrong in the world courtesy of their devices.
None of us wake up each morning wanting a bad day, but when outside circumstances rock us we must be careful not to adopt a battle mindset.
So, if you have been triggered by this natural disaster or other traumas, connect with others and don’t be afraid to ask for help, because we certainly aren’t meant to struggle alone.
Dr Cher McGillivray is a clinical psychologist and Assistant Professor of Psychology in the Bond University Faculty of Society and Design.
“And fellas, you, I’m sorry to break it to you, are the worst at listening to and doing something about your own mental health needs …