Online not the right place for our careless cavemen
Whether you’re a oneman mistake machine or a Labor minister hell bent on costing us billions, absence of even basic research is always the problem.
Take popular error generator Peter FitzSimons, for example.
The Sydney Morning Herald columnist probably doesn’t know it, but a significant number of his readers log in simply to enjoy and share his characteristic blunders.
We’re quite a community. When Fitzy delivers – which is impressively often – phones and laptops light up across the land.
My favourite recent FitzSimons failure occurred during an interview last year with Australian cricket captain Pat Cummins, following Australia’s ODI World Cup victory.
“You’re going to be remembered for your captaincy in the final, for your aggressive tactics,” FitzSimons told hero Pat. “Ian Chappell always said, ‘When you win the toss, nine times out of 10 you should choose immediately to bat first. On the 10th occasion, you should think about it, and then bat first’. But you decided to bowl first.”
Cummins was too polite to correct his interviewer, but Chappell’s batfirst imperative applies only to Test cricket. By contrast, the World Cup is a one-day contest.
The batting sequence in one-dayers isn’t nearly so important, as anyone with an elementary understanding of the game and access to the internet would be aware.
That’s our fact-free Fitzy for you. Long may he entertain us all. Less amusing, but likely far more expensive, are the research faults committed by Energy Minister Chris Bowen.
Bowen seems to think that his assertions somehow cancel out not only observable reality, but also undisputed historical facts gleaned from the internet.
Recently he repeated his claim that Australian won’t be denied our big utes once Labor’s vehicle emission standards are introduced.
“Look at the United States. They’ve had these standards since the 1970s,” Bowen told an interviewer last month. “And you can get a pick-up truck, what they call – they call their utes pick-up trucks – you can get a pick-up truck in the US pretty easily. So the idea that if you have emissions standards and somehow you won’t have utes is just a fantasy.”
But under initial Corporate Average Fuel Economy (or CAFE) rules, pick-ups were largely exempt. It’s all online.
The Washington Post reported in 2023: “To protect American commerce, work trucks and light trucks were subject to less-strict CAFE standards than family sedans.”
As recently as 2021, according to an analysis from The Australian, nearly half of Ford F-Series pick-up trucks were excluded from US fuel standards. Bowen’s US emissions defence is dead.
So is his argument that the rubbish Chinese-made electric LDV eT60 ute – which costs more than $90,000 in Australia, double the diesel version’s price – is cheaper in NZ thanks to Labor-like efficiency rules.
“The Honourable Member asked me about the LDV eT60 electric ute,” Bowen said last week in parliament.
“I’m going to refer him to an article in the Drive newspaper, which says: ‘LDV eT60 electric ute now cheaper than its diesel twin, but only in New Zealand’.
“Why is it cheaper in New Zealand but not in Australia? New Zealand has vehicle efficiency standards. Australia does not.”
Let’s check out that October 2023 article then. It says nothing about the price drop being to do with efficiency standards. Rather, the LDV eT60 simply scored a huge $NZ23,000 dealer discount on top of a $NZ7015 “Clean Car Rebate”.
Why the discount? Because the thing won’t sell. In a subsequent Stuff.co.nz piece, LDV confirmed that “the current inventory of heavily discounted eT60s in the country is the last we will see of the model, with no plans to renew supply.
“Between January and September of this year, just 53 eT60s were registered in New Zealand.” Look it up, Chris. It’s all there. A personal favourite Bowenism is his repeated claim that forcing carmakers to fill showrooms with EVs is about offering variety. “This is ultimately about choice,” he said in 2022. “Freedom of choice.”
Yep. You’ll have a huge choice of cars that you don’t like and won’t buy. Dealerships will be like supermarkets forced to stock 80 per cent vegan snacks. Take your choice, shoppers. Pick anything you want, so long as you don’t want it.
Anyway, I must be going. A text just lobbed saying FitzSimons wrote a column last week about motor racing.
He knows very little about cricket, but Pete knows absolutely nothing about cars. This may take some time. See you in a few months.