KEEPING DAD’S LEGACY ALIVE FRAWLEY PAIN STILL LINGERS FOR FAMILY
Chelsea Frawley gazes towards an empty Moorabbin Oval, reflecting on the time her father brought her footy team to train at the new facility without permission.
The former Richmond coach was in charge of the Old Haileybury women’s team, which included two of his daughters, and figured the newly renovated spiritual home – where he’d played most of his 240 games for St Kilda – was ideal for his charges to use.
“That was Dad; he didn’t ask anyone, he just decided it was a good place for us to train,” Chelsea explains.
The move was short-lived, but it’s just one of hundreds of stories Chelsea has about her father. Most are funny; many are inspirational, but there is one tragic one that his eldest daughter is determined to stop others from experiencing.
Four-and-a-half years ago, Danny committed suicide by driving off the road and into a tree near Ballarat. A post-mortem examination revealed he had fallen victim to chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative brain disease, attributed to the cumulative impact of concussions sustained during his illustrious football career.
While many retreat to deal with the grief of losing a loved one, Chelsea, her sisters Danielle and Keeley, and mother Anita, have done the opposite.
Chelsea is the head of community and operations at the Danny Frawley Centre, so it’s her job to talk about her father every day. A giant mural of him is just metres away from her office in the building that is named after him.
“The hard thing is that he is no longer here, but being able to talk about him and relive his memories, (and) work in his honour keeps him alive, because he was such a special unique person,” she says.
“I was recently in Shepparton and this person was like, ‘Your dad helped me to get into seeing help’. I was like ‘how did you even meet Dad?’ (but) he personally helped someone get help. Just the impact that he had on people means they … want to keep his memory alive for what he kind of stood for in mateship, connection and speaking out.”
On Thursday night at the MCG, the fourth Spud’s Game between St Kilda and Collingwood will be played in his honour, promoting mental-health awareness and raising funds for the Danny Frawley Centre to continue their community programs.
“Mental health affects two in five of us, but it affects a lot more of us at an indirect level,” Chelsea explains.
“I don’t know the literal stats, but I know that everyone knows someone who is going through something. There is a lot more than we think and it is important that the AFL has a voice here in being able to promote mental health messaging. I’m so grateful for the Saints to give me the opportunity to work here; (but) it doesn’t feel like work, it feels like family.” She then pauses and gathers her thoughts, as she looks out again across the oval.
“It does get hard, I get quite passionate and I’m very tied to what I am doing,” Chelsea says. “But it gets me out of bed in the morning, knowing we have an ability to teach people skills to make sure people don’t go through what we did as a family.”
The Frawley clan have had to call on their own teachings unexpectedly in recent times when another major life curveball was thrown their way, a cancer fight for Anita. “We are going through a tough time as a family at the moment,” Chelsea says. “Mum is quite ill; she is on the other side now, but she has gone through treatment for chemotherapy.
“But you know what we learnt through Dad, and what we have learnt through bringing this facility to life – and my sister is now studying psychology – it has meant we have actually been able to stay super-positive for Mum and really resilient as a family.
“Looking at the way we have been able to cope, with the news about Mum, say five years ago (it) would have been life-shattering.
“Obviously, no one wants to hear the word cancer, but those skills we have learnt have meant that, as a family, (we) have been really resilient and really been able to lean in and support Mum where she needs it.
“She has also had the most positive attitude.
“She uses mindfulness daily before she goes to sleep because she knows how much impact that has in her frame of mind, going through what she is going through.”
IF THIS STORY HAS AFFECTED YOU
Lifeline: 13 11 14