Montaigne: the 10 funniest things I have ever seen (on the internet)
Hello! I’m Montaigne and I’m a singer-songwriter. I represented Australia at Eurovision this year (and, technically, last year as well). I’m currently writing songs for an indie video game and preparing to release new music, and I have just announced a tour.
When I’m not doing these sorts of things, I’m on the internet. That’s right. I’m a little internet grub. More than anything, I love things that make me laugh. The internet: it makes me laugh. Here are some things that have made me bust my frickin’ guts.
1. This wholesome child
My first thing obviously has to be a wholesome one. A big part of the laugh for me is the shock of hearing what is practically a baby saying the words “gender-neutral toilets”, because as a child that was not part of my lexicon. I’m very glad that it is now, but it seems I underestimated modern parents’ ability to educate their children in progressive social standards. It’s also funny because he says gender-neutral toilets like Pontius Pilate in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
2. This wholesome couple
I reckon there is very little authentic reaction in these guys’ vids because they just be pranking each other so often that they’re probably ready at all times for the artifice and to react in kind. But before I knew what their whole schtick was, this TikTok came up on my feed and I watched it about 5 times in a row. I love it so much. It reminds me of me and my partner.
3. This weird, raw TikTok
When I was having an emotionally difficult time during Eurovision, this TikTok made me feel normal. And also she’s just so funny. She’s got another one about having her period and wanting to be green. She’s wonderful. “Horton hears a what? A me, mom.”
4. Helicopter hiker rescue
Look, this one is a bit rough in reality, but it’s OK to laugh because she ended up OK. Anyway, I don’t know why, but every time I watch this or even think of it, I lose my goddamn mind. Does that make me a bad person? No. Does it raise interesting questions about the way infinite exposure to infinite content on the internet disables our ability to recognise the physical reality and consequences of what we view? Yes. Maybe one laughs because it is so dire? I’ll never know.
5. Aunty Donna
Some of that wacky humour we all love. I LOVE AUNTY DONNA. (Language warning!)
6. That GQ interview with Robert Pattinson
I don’t read many celebrity interviews but Suffa from Hilltop Hoods sent me this one with a hearty recommendation and, sure as hell, it’s a romp. You think it’s gonna be about Tenet and then it isn’t. Once the writer starts to describe the process of making the piccolini cuscino, it’s impossible not to chortle.
7. This tweet about the ABC
I think Ben Jenkins is one of the funniest people in Australia and it is remarkable that this tweet got read out in Senate estimates. Just absolutely ripping stuff.
8 & 9. These improv lyrical masterpieces
My eighth and ninth funny things come as a package deal because they fall under the same genre: singer bamboozled by lyrics, either because they forgot them or because the event producers failed to provide them with the help they needed. Patti LaBelle still manages to sing the hell out of this song while, from start to finish, patently flustered. God she’s funny.
Leslie Uggams also trucks on while she sings “but the butts in out of bushes”. Good on her.
10. The best CV you’ve ever seen Let’s top it all off with a Brian David Gilbert cherry. I love that this got him a job at my favourite video game journalism operation. He’s since left Polygon and does all kinds of stuff – most visibly for me, his YouTube videos, which he makes with his partner, Karen Han, who is also very funny.
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