Unbeaten by cancer

MY MENTOR, BEST FRIEND AND GOLFING BUDDY WAS IN TROUBLE AND I FELT POWERLESS. WHAT FOLLOWED WAS THE INEVITABLE ROLLER-COASTER OF SURGERY AND CHEMOTHERAPY. AS IS OFTEN THE CASE, THE SUFFERER WAS THE STRONG ONE

DAD had always been as healthy as an ox. Except for some sinus issues, I can’t remember him ever really being sick growing up. So when we found out he had bowel cancer it was a real shock for all of us. Being “daddy’s girl” I struggled with the enormity of what the diagnosis meant. It took a while for it to sink in that a loved one had the C word. My mentor, best friend and golfing buddy was in trouble and I felt powerless. What followed was the inevitable roller-coaster of surgery and chemotherapy. As is often the case, the sufferer was the strong one. I’ll never forget the night Dad came into my bedroom after I’d gone to bed. He and Mum had been told after a year of treatment that things had gone well but that the next five years would be crucial. There was a strong chance it could return and who knows what could happen then?

I had been so positive, making deals with the universe about what I would do if only Dad could be cancer-free forever.

I didn’t get the bona fide guarantee I was looking for and it was eating me from the inside out. We would have cancer hang over our heads for five years.

I thought I’d done a good job of hiding my feelings, putting on a brave face and saving my tears and fears for my pillow. But Dad knew me better. He sat on the edge of my bed and told me what in my heart I already knew. “I’m a fighter, Jen,” he said. “I will be OK. I’m not giving up.” Through his own fears and confrontation with his own mortality he had the love and strength to give me hope and determination.

It’s been 20 years since that night. Dad has been cancer-free and living life to the absolute fullest.

However, getting cancer and beating it doesn’t mean the end of the story.

He retired early from a job he dearly loved to safeguard the quality of his life and mentally it hasn’t always been easy.

The worry cancer will return never really disappears. Every sickness, bump or unexplained ailment can invite black clouds back into your mind. Time can heal that angst a little. About 350 people are told they have a life-threatening cancer every day in this country and yesterday Australians were asked to support Daffodil Day which helps raise money in the fight against this disease. Ironically, the survival rate for many common cancers has risen by 30 per cent in the past 20 years.

News that a rainforest tree found on our Tablelands is at the centre of a new drug offering hope of a cure is proof there are many people fighting this scourge every day and many others fighting to save them. The drug offers new hope that one day we won’t have to worry about the dreaded C word.