But I’m still standing

WE’VE HAD ROCK ROYALTY FOLLOWING THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO CAIRNS, BIG NEWS ON WAGES, UPHEAVAL ON THE POLITICAL SCENE AND WE’VE SUFFERED THE LOSS OF ONE OF OUR OWN. THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME SAD SONGS …

TOP headlines from Cairns in a week that was dominated by rock star Sir Elton John (I mean, really, really dominated by him …)

Royalty to rock in croc country

Music megastar and eyewear supermodel Sir Elton John will play in front of a packed crowd of crocodiles, bats, snakes, jellyfish and the odd human in what is being called the economic coup of the century. Mayor Bob Manning said he had already started tuning up the vocal cords for the September concert at Cazalys and wasn’t fazed at all by rogue councillor Richie Bates letting the Bernie Taupin out of the recording studio about how much it cost to get the star to tour here. “Sorry seems to be the hardest word for some when they slip up and say things they shouldn’t, but it’s OK,” he said. “I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzie had so much fun. Now me and my wife, Claire, are ready to do the Crocodile Rock with Sir Elton.”

Penalty rate cuts economic boost

Cairns employers are calling for changes to Sunday penalty rates to be introduced soon after receiving word Sir Elton John is demanding every hospitality establishment be open in Cairns for him. Commerce industry heads said the reduction in hospitality workers’ wages would be no sacrifice for them, no sacrifice, no sacrifice at all. It’s a sentiment not shared by unions. “Employers and politicians have cold, cold hearts; we’ve been hard done by them. Some laws look better, baby, just passing through,” a union spokesperson said. However, Cairns workers have agreed to work for free on the weekend of September 30 if Sir Elton promises to tip them generously.

Electoral boundaries push out MP

The seat of Dalrymple will disappear under draft electoral boundary changes meaning MP Shane Knuth could be with- out a piano seat to sit on at the next State election. Mr Knuth said this was the second time this had happened to him and would consider running in the new seat of Elton, which had been named in appreciation of the rock star holding two concerts in Queensland this year. “Right from the start, I gave you my heart. Oh oh I gave you my heart, constituents,” Mr Knuth said in his frustration.

“I won’t go breaking your heart, so don’t go breaking my heart, Elton. Please vote for me.”

Former politician loses battle

The rural advocate who almost felled Kennedy MP Bob Katter in the 2013 Federal election Noeline Ikin has been farewelled after battling cancer. Tributes had a common theme of passion and determination, all acknowledging that her candle burned out long before her legend ever did. It is believed that when Sir Elton John sings his biggest-selling song, Can

dle in the Wind, later this year, Ms Ikin’s loved ones will think of her.