Moving just the ticket
FOR sale: One editor’s house for quick sale. Must move on immediately. Owner wishes to relocate to either Earlville, Manoora, Mareeba or Gordonvale. Surely that’s got to help my odds of winning Lotto. There have been five division one winners in the region since January, the latest this week and I wouldn’t mind a piece of the action. While I realise selling up may not make tremendous economic sense or increase my chances of winning, the dream of landing “the Big One” almost makes it worth it. From farmers to pensioners, Cairns’ winners, anonymously, have outlined their plans to spend their new cash. Homes, cars, RVs and holidays have topped their lists – the usual choices. I’m not a big gambler – the most I’ve ever won is $180 when I backed Australian golfer Adam Scott to win the US Masters in 2013 – however, I do have some quirky ideas for what I could spend a $1m on if I should be so lucky.
• Finish acquiring the Peppa Pig collection on film and in print for daughter Layne (almost there!). I would then take her on an international journey retracing Peppa’s adventures. I might even throw in a speech therapist so she can lose the Peppa Pig accent.
• A golf lesson with new Masters champion Sergio Garcia at Augusta National. I would pay big dollars for a photo of myself in the winner’s green jacket.
• Butler service – every woman’s dream. I would hire the Remington Quick Shave Electric Shaver ad man and offer him a million bucks for those abs to walk into my house every day.
• The ultimate men’s shed for my honey, the size of which even Caterpillar would be proud of. It would come fitted with comfy recliner, 100-inch TV with gold-plated remote control, super- charged power and garden tools and the biggest double-door fridge on the market to house a never-ending supply of beer. (See? It’s not all about me.)
• A pool in the shape of Australia with giant aquarium running the length of the east coast and sand wave pool on the west coast. Tassie would be the spa.
• Personal shopper so that I never have to think about these things ever again: What’s for tea tonight? What will I wear today? What will I buy (insert name here) for their birthday? What will I do for Christmas? Will I ever finish decorating my house?
• Guitar lessons. I would need A LOT of money for this indulgence to one day be able to fulfil a dream of performing anything remotely like Ian Moss and Mark Knopfler.
• A one-metre tall Bugs Bunny made of chocolate for us to eat tomorrow. Hubby chews the ears, Bub the tail and me the legs.
Happy Easter.
A SHIFT OF HOME ADDRESS SEEMS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO FOLLOW THE WINNING LOTTO TRAIL IF I’M GOING TO FULFIL MY FANTASIES ON HOW BEST TO BLOW A MILLION DOLLARS WHEN MY SIX NUMBERS COME UP