A gutful of clean living

TIPS FOR ENRICHING YOUR HEALTH AND LIFESTYLE ARE EASY AND PLENTIFUL TO READ BUT A TRAWL THROUGH A RECENT PRESS RELEASE ON THE SUBJECT PROVES HOW DIFFICULT – AND BORING – IT WOULD BE TO TRY AND TAKE THEM TO HEART

REVITALISE your wellbeing, it said. “Spring cleaning doesn’t have to stop in your living area — it can extend to your health,” the Cancer Council Queensland press release tried to convince me as I slurped on a Coke Zero at my desk. Never mind that I long ago gave up on that 1950s notion of dusting your house and washing walls every September. It’s probably why the walls of my insides are starting to match the ones in my house. Nevertheless, I don’t mind the odd tip and trick that might make life more enriching or easier, so I read on. “Here are the simple tips to help you to revitalise your wellbeing.” 1. Clean up your diet As in hoover even more cheese and crackers? Is that even possible? I still have a month’s supply of pepper and smoked cheeses from my last visit to Gallo’s on the Tablelands to nibble through. I could struggle with this. 2. Spring into shape As I keep notching decades on my belt, I reckon there is enough springiness in my shape as there is. I don’t need anymore. Apparently the warmer weather at this time of the year makes the days longer so that you can exercise after endless hours at work. If you have the will to actually do this, don’t forget the 14 litres of water you will need just to keep you mobile. 3. Clear out clutter from your mind What’s for dinner? Clean your teeth, child! Toilet seat down please. Politicians; national highways; cost of living; is there such a thing as climate change? Fetch me a drink, Hun. I have no idea what they’re talking about here ... clean the bathroom Saturday, take bub to the swings Sunday, family coming for the school holidays ... there’s no clutter in this mind.

4. Schedule screenings and appointments

Ahhh, I have a dream. As a person who has a paper diary and too many electronic devices, all with calendars full of appointments, my dream is to have less appointments rather than more. As a result I’m guilty of putting off trips to the dentist and only this week sought the aid of a physiotherapist for a dodgy running knee that’s been plaguing me since before I could walk.

5. Smarten up your sedentary activities

It’s not good for your health to spend hours on your couch, zoning out on TV they preached to me. Instead I’m told to pump weights and stretch during the ad breaks of Better Homes and Gardens.

Stop. My wellbeing has been revitalised enough.

Now, pass the cheese, remote control and hand me a wine so I can toast my own definition of clean living.