It’s just too bad when the coach is your dad

PARENTS who volunteer to coach their children’s sport teams deliberately disadvantage their own kids for fear of being accused of favouritism, putting their relationships with them at risk.

A Flinders University study found dads who coached their sons’ footy teams avoided giving their boys awards and praise, gave them harsher feedback and made an example of them in front of others.

And they justified it by saying they have to be seen to be fair, avoid conflict with other parents and send disciplinary messages to the playing group.

Lecturer in sport, health and physical activity Dr Sam Elliott conducted in-depth interviews with 16 dads who had been coaching juniors for between one and five seasons.

While all the coaches enjoyed the role, most said boys of that age messed around a lot and they felt like glorified babysitters unless they laid down the law early.

But disciplining other people’s kids risked conflict with their parents, so they made an example of their own child to set the tone for the rest.

Dads also highlighted the mistakes of their own children for the benefit of teaching the rest of the team skills and understanding of the game.

Most said their children recognised the difficulties their dads faced in the dual role, but not always.

Dr Elliott said the challenges faced by parent coaches were “problematic for parent and child relationships”. He said clubs could arrange more “meet and greet” training sessions for parents and children to help coaches “cope with their fears of external perceptions of favouritism”, and ensure coaches were positively portrayed in club communications.