Just roll with the times

Jennifer Lopez has a lot to answer for. Forget her may-as-well-not-wearit green frothy, floaty dress with plunging neckline at the 2000 Grammys. The sultry Latino megastar who brought us such hits as If You Had My Love, Let’s Get Loud and Waiting for Tonight and just as long a list of hit movies is, I believe, the sole reason why we are enduring the greatest tragedy of modern times — the abbreviated moniker. Lopez or J. Lo as she was affectionately called by her fans decided to cash in on her sexy image and use the nickname. It was a superb marketing move. She called an album J. Lo, produced a huge hit off the persona of “Jenny from the Block”, starred in box-office hits and inhaled sweet-smelling success with her perfumes (which thankfully didn’t take inspiration from the scent of her old suburb, The Bronx).

We could blame her boyfriend at the time, Sean Combs, or P. Diddy, but time has moved on and now everyone is getting in on the act.

Most tragically of all we now have a prime minister who goes by the name of ScoMo.

I just can’t take Scott Morrison seriously because of it. Forget his policies. Forget royal commissions into aged care. Whatever talents he has using a ledger and bank vault, I am struggling with our national leader’s abbreviated name.

I was devastated to read recently even that most dignified of national politicians Julie Bishop was being referred to as JBish. Erghhhhhh. I’m not advocating for Scotty, Jules or Billy but politicians just shouldn’t mimic pop culture icons, particularly American ones, and the media should just STOP IT too. It’s ... tacky.

How can they even compete with JLaw (actress Jennifer Lawrence)?

Next we’ll be calling our local pollies C-Craw, C-Pitt, M-Heals and heaven forbid if Mayor Bob Manning became BMan. It’s pretty obvious he is one.

I doubt with a Federal election on the horizon that Member for Leichhardt Warren Entsch would like to be referred to as — W-Ent … Hmmm, prophetic?

Then there is the conscious coupling of famous people’s names. Again we can blame Jennifer Lopez. Her almost-to-the-alter relationship with movie star Ben Affleck resulted in “Bennifer”.

This was then trumped by the biggest of super pairings, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, with their “Brangelina”.

Both couples no longer share an electricity bill. Again, a sign?

In sport, it’s all about the initials, Daly Cherry-Evans is DCE, Sonny-Bill Williams is SBW and the Dally M winner Roger Tuivasa-Sheck is RTS.

Perhaps I should just roll with it ... call me J-Spils. I’m off to the Dis-Co to be Dee-Jay.

On second thought. Don’t.

MOST TRAGICALLY OF ALL WE NOW HAVE A PRIME MINISTER WHO GOES BY THE NAME OF SCOMO. I JUST CAN’T TAKE SCOTT MORRISON SERIOUSLY BECAUSE OF IT.