Rivals to feel burn as Cairns comics deliver
CLARE Morgan believes the most difficult job in Townsville would have to be the head of the city’s tourism board.
“Cairns has the Great Barrier Reef on its doorstep and the Daintree rainforest,” she said.
“But in Townsville, how do you try and convince people to go to a botanic gardens with only palm trees in it and to buy snow globes with dust in them?”
The Cairns-based stand-up comedian is one of five local comics who will be heading to “Brownsville” this weekend to represent the Far North at the Cairns v Townsville Comedy Roast being held tomorrow in Queen’s Gardens as part of the inaugural Northern Fringe Festival.
Ms Morgan, who hosts a monthly stand-up comedy session at Elixir Bar, said venturing five hours south to perform in enemy territory was a slightly daunting prospect – but not because of the audience.
“The organisers have been sending me (web) links to look at for accommodation and stuff,” she said.
“Every time I look at those links, I really don’t feel like driving down anymore.”
She said the differences between the two cities were clear, particularly in terms of their economic fortunes.
“I think we’ve got a lot more going on, in terms of development at the moment,” she said.
“We’ve got a $25 million performing arts centre upgrade.
“I’ve heard that when we get down to Townsville, we’ll be performing in a tent.
“And we have a much better natural environment.
“Townsville gets a bit jealous of it, which I guess is why they’re so supportive of the Adani mine, thinking it will level the playing field.”
Comedian Susan Mattocks, who is part of the Townsville roast team, criticised Cairns’ apparent lack of sandy beaches – having clearly never ventured more than 5km north of Cairns’ CBD.
“Have you heard of this thing called sand?” she said.
“Well, Townsville’s got it in bucket and spade loads
“If you don’t like your kids, take them for a holiday in Cairns, and watch their disappointment as yet another ‘sand’ castle burps and farts as it leaves the bucket and seeps back into the murky swamp.”
Ms Mattocks also took umbrage to our fair city’s name.
“Apparently Cairns was named after Sir William Wellington Cairns,” she said.
“He didn’t invent wellington boots, but he certainly saw the need for them.”
For more information about the Northern Fringe Festival, head to nafa-tsv. com.au