Hannah was not her killer’s wife
HANNAH Clarke may have died at the hands of her former partner, but let’s get one thing straight: she was not her killer’s wife.
Since her senseless and profoundly tragic death on Wednesday, the 31year-old Queenslander has been described over and over again as the wife of her murderer. As a wife killed by her husband. As a wife who died with her three children.
But in 2019, like so many women in unsafe relationships before her, Hannah left her marriage, obtained a Domestic Violence Order against her former partner, and began re-establishing a life for herself outside of the terror she had known for so many years. In paper only did she remain married to the man who killed her. And it’s vital that we honour her brave decision in remembering her.
Hannah was the much loved daughter of Sue and Lloyd Clarke. She was a sister and a sister-in-law. A small-business owner. A brilliant friend. A caring and active member of her local community. A devoted mother to her three children, Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey.
She was the person who, for most of her life was known to everyone as Hannah Clarke, not Hannah Baxter.
She was the person one friend described as “the best woman on the planet” and “the definition of love.”
She was the person another described her as “the most bubbly and kind person”.
She was the person whose children’s school described as having “a beaming smile” on her face every day.
She was the person who, according to her sister-in-law, only ever wanted happiness.
She was the person who said she finally knew what life was like after leaving her abusive partner of 11 years.
She was the person who, when asked about her separation with her former partner said, “I’m so glad I got out when I did,” and, “I’m OK, struggling, but I know I’ve made the right decision.”
And she was the person who, this week, was forced to watch her children die at the hands of their father before losing her own life hours later.
Women like Hannah Clarke are so much more than the abusive relationships they are forced to endure. But we see their marital status referred to as their primary value repeatedly whenever a life is claimed by domestic violence, as if we still can’t believe that there are current and former spouses out there who do this. But of course there are. We have heard this story and seen the terrifying statistics too many times now. The option to pretend we don’t know the truth has passed.
Using their marriage as an aside or descriptor only contributes to the warped sense of ownership an abuser already has. And in instances like Hannah Clarke’s, it allows her abuser to take his power over her and her three children with him to the grave.
If we are serious about truly honouring the memory of those who fall victim to the horrendous epidemic of domestic violence, we cannot reduce a woman like Hannah Clarke’s full and complex life to just her marital status. She was a somebody to so many people before, during and after her marriage.
The Brisbane community who knew Hannah Clarke and her children deserve good memories – not the vile and unforgivable actions of the person who claimed to love his family.
If the last thing a person chooses to do as a parent and member of the community is murder their children and former partner before taking their own life, let that be their legacy. Everything that came before is irrelevant. All of the good deeds and friendly hellos to neighbours, all of the school drop offs and gym training is null and void. It’s that simple.
But Hannah, Aaliyah, Laianah and Trey deserve so much more, and better, than that.
In leaving her partner, Hannah Clarke had started the lengthy process of reclaiming not just her independence, but also an identity outside of her marriage. That life, those moments, the daily interactions and smiling parent is what we should focus on.
Yes, Hannah Clarke may have died a daughter, sister, mother and friend. But she did not die a wife.
• After separating from her husband, Hannah legally changed her name back to her maiden name of Clarke.
Katy Hall is a RendezView columnist.
For Lifeline support phone the 24/7 service on 13 11 14 or emergency services on triple-0.