WHEN THE TASKS ARE MAMMOTH
Huge inside and massively powerful, the Patrol is strictly for towing and exploring
The Nissan Patrol, like its Toyota LandCruiser rival, stands out for true 4WD capability in a modern world flooded with soft-roader family SUVs. For 2020, the Patrol arrives with a facelift and enhanced safety kit to go with its staple go-anywhere, tow-anything chops.
The Patrol comes only with a petrol V8 while the LandCruiser takes an exclusively V8 diesel route. The Nissan undercuts its Toyota rival for price in its two grades, Ti and luxury Ti-L. Our family samples the $75,990 (before on-roads) Ti with eight seats and a giant footprint.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
IAIN: Behold an automotive legend.
JULES: Please don’t tell me you’re going mistyeyed for a giant, lumbering SUV?
IAIN: Too right I am. Because it’s properly fit for purpose and a proper SUV.
JULES: Doesn’t SUV mean “Sport Utility Vehicle”? This Patrol looks sporty in the same way a beached whale does.
IAIN: It’s sporty like a heavyweight boxer. Its 5.6-litre petrol V8 produces 298kW and 560Nm without a turbocharger. Pure muscle.
JULES: Sounds like you’ll be feeling Greta Thunberg’s wrath.
IAIN: OK, it may rival a container ship for fuel economy but the “utility” part from SUV shines through. Leathery seating for eight. It tows 3500kg. There’s a 140L fuel tank. And its lowrange transfer case and 4WD drive modes could haul you to Everest base camp.
JULES: Bit of space for snacks and swags too? IAIN: Even with eight seats up you get 550L of boot space. That’s almost the same as a fiveseater Toyota RAV4.
JULES: Wait. Shouldn’t we have truck licences to drive this? It’s absolutely huge.
IAIN: Parking isn’t fun. It’s got some style to compensate, its recent facelift bringing new LED lights, bumpers, grille, bonnet and fenders.
JULES: I like its modern front but side-on it looks like a box. I think Nissan’s aerodynamics guy was sick the day the design got the green light.
THE LIVING SPACE
IAIN: I’m an astronaut; I’m travelling in space.
JULES: Dad joke. It’s a big climb up into the cabin but, once you’re there, it’s like settling into a business lounge.
IAIN: And stepping back in time. The refresh isn’t cutting-edge. Patrols in other markets get fancy dual screens for the central dash and we miss out on Apple CarPlay/Android Auto.
JULES: The CD player, foot operated park brake and digital info — the font looks to be borrowed from Apple computers circa 1991 — are, well, traditional.
IAIN: Very polite. There is old-school quality inside. Faux wood trim abounds, there are comfy and wide leather seats and even pleated leather for the doors. The centre armrest’s the size of a cow, so long distance cruising is utterly relaxed.
JULES: The second-row seats should have their own postcode. Sure, it’s a large SUV but interior space is mighty. No problems fitting an adult between two child seats.
THE COMMUTE
IAIN: Nissan gets criticised for not having a diesel V8 for the Patrol. I get it. A petrol V8 has grievous fuel economy and the required 95 or 98 RON can be hard to find in the wilds.
JULES: There’s nothing like a petrol V8 — floor it and it sounds like a V8 Supercar.
IAIN: Well, almost. It’s a glorious howl on full throttle but for duties around town it’s rather quiet and docile. It can be hard to drive smoothly. A fraction too much accelerator and this near three-tonne beastie rears up.
JULES: While gulping down premium unleaded. IAIN: We returned a thirsty 15.6L/100km and that figure will balloon when towing. But is it much worse than a diesel V8? When we tested the LandCruiser 200 Series, it drank 13.3L.
JULES: Give me a highway and I’m in heaven in this thing. It’s brilliantly smooth for cruising, has radar cruise control and handy safety kit such as blind spot warning and it pulls you gently back into lane if you stray.
IAIN: I had to turn off the lane keep assist. Roads just aren’t wide enough for a Patrol.
THE SHOPPING
JULES: The weekly shop fits in even with eight seats up. Brilliant.
IAIN: With just the front seats up it’s a van. I fitted a 2m-high bookcase in the back.
JULES: Not having an automatic tailgate is a pain. If you’re short it’s a big reach and a massive thing to haul down. Thankfully, it has automatic soft close.
IAIN: Parking’s a nightmare for this XXL SUV. Wisely, Nissan fits an around view monitor as standard with parking sensors front and rear.
SUNDAY RUN
JULES: I wouldn’t cope with a Patrol as a daily driver. It’s at its best as a recreational tank and to tow your giant boat or a caravan around Australia. City streets aren’t wide enough.
IAIN: It’ll tow 3500kg with ease. Nissan’s reworked the suspension for better on-road handling but, even so, it doesn’t cope well with wet roundabouts. Slow down.
JULES: On the plus side, it’s brilliant off-road. It was easy to put into low-range and crawl over some challenging muddy patches.
IAIN: Its size makes it scary to pilot on tight offroad tracks but the handy cameras give a side view to help avoid bumps and holes.
THE FAMILY
JULES: With eight seats, it rivals peoplemovers. You can fit a rugby sevens or netball team as well as the driver.
IAIN: The top grade Ti-L has seven seats, which is probably enough. The centre row has the best seats in the house. The three rear seats are cramped — it would be more practical if the middle row could slide forward as in some rivals.
JULES: The kids had roof-mounted air vents, effective but noisier than having them down low.
IAIN: The family budget will suffer. Services are six-monthly and expensive, it’s about $85,500 drive-away and to fill the 140L tank with 95 RON costs more than $200. We’d manage about 900km between fills.
THE VERDICT
JULES: The Patrol’s mammoth size means it’s one for adventuring rather than urban duties. Yet the whole family loved it. The interior needs modernising but the joy comes from the acres of cabin space, rumbling V8 and magic carpet ride.
IAIN: The Patrol’s cheaper than the equivalent Toyota LandCruiser and it’s the pick for the petrol V8 faithful. It looks a bargain against its opposition, is full of talent and personality, but it should only be bought to tow and explore.