Line in sand over messy issue
HOW many bureaucrats does it take to stop a backpacker crapping in the sand?
By all rights, that statement should be followed by a punchline.
We could have a chortle, slap our thighs a few times, maybe throw in an airy guffaw or two and then go about our day.
Alas, there is very little justice in this treacherous world and no such gag will be forthcoming.
Instead we have a depressing answer.
It takes several government departments, multiple politicians, countless meetings, emails and think tanks and … wait for it … backpackers are still crapping in the sand.
What is this world coming to?
The Cairns Post has been reporting for years on illegal campers dropping trou on our pristine beaches, sweating, squeezing and, presumably, scratching their hind feet in the sand after the glorious deed like proudly evacuated labradors.
Literally, and I use that word very sparingly, nothing has been done.
Residents and business owners across the coastline have called police, Cairns Regional Council, the Department of Transport and Main Roads and anybody else within earshot in the vain pursuit of action.
Instead, they have copped more constipation from the Department of Transport and Main Roads.
The department says it is working through this “complex” issue – but how complex can it really be?
Either it is illegal to camp there or it is not.
If it is illegal, the department has a duty of care to send down rangers to politely ask these folks to move on.
There are plenty of designated camping spots nearby with proper facilities, and a warning would suffice most of the time – although fines are an option.
If it is not illegal, the department has a duty of care to build some bloody toilets on behalf of anybody who enjoys going barefoot in the sand.
Cairns Regional Council has offered to maintain any long drop compostable dunny the State Government sees fit to build in these carparks, but no.
Backpackers are crapping in the sand.
You really cannot even blame them.
It is technically still illegal to possess 50kg of potatoes in Western Australia under Section 22 of the
Marketing of Potatoes Act 1946, unless you are a member of the Potato Corporation or an authorised agent.
The penalty is a fine of up to $2000 for a first offence or $5000 for subsequent transgressions, as well as further payments up to twice the value of the potatoes.
It is an archaic law but if there is nobody there to police it, is it really illegal?
Camping, defecating and loudly copulating in carparks at Ellis Beach and Buchan Point is technically against the law, but if there is nobody there to police it, is it really illegal?
Besides, marking one’s territory in these picture-perfect locations must really appeal to those carnal parts at the fleshy stem of the brain, and I for one am green with jealous rage at these loveable swine.
Police and the council are both on the same page here, saying the DTMR simply needs to pull its finger out, chuck up a few signs and how’sya-father?
That has not happened over the past five years.
Perhaps the upcoming state election will provide the bureaucratic laxative needed to finally shift those bunged-up administrative bowels.