A new life of distraction with ChatGPT

THE interweb is in a tizz about something called ChatGPT. Bill Gates calls it revolutionary. Elon Musk describes it as “scary good”. Never heard of ChatGPT? Don’t worry, you soon will.

Don’t be put off by the techno name. ChatGPT stands to be a historical gamechanger, much like the advents of TV, the internet and the iPhone.

Basically it is online artificial intelligence that replies to questions as if it is human.

Its breadth, tone and balance are easy to confuse with wisdom. ChatGPT can write uni essays in seconds (not good), amid fears it might be hijacked for propaganda or fake news (very bad).

But ChatGPT might also diagnose disease (good) and let customers avoid speaking to call centre staff in other countries (amazing).

Already, its co-founder Sam Altman envisages exponential advances so ChatGPT will “look like a boring toy”.

He might be right; future AI technology sounds both wondrous and terrifying.

For now, however, try to stop ChatGPTing once you start.

It’s crazy more-ish.

You can ask it anything (though there are guard rails of taste and subjectivity).

Will religion die? Is God real? What’s with green jelly beans? ChatGPT cannot explain why Forrest Gump beat The Shawshank Redemption for the Best Movie Oscar of 1994 .

Nor will it describe former prime minister John Howard by applying the lyrics of Guns N’ Roses song Sweet Child O’ Mine.

But it will bathe Anthony Albanese in Shakespearean sonnet (it’s unclear whether the “bars” it cites are of the beer kind):

“His eyes do sparkle bright as stars/And voice doth ring with eloquence/He speaks of hopes, and dreams, and bars/That bind the nation in suspense.”

True, ChatGPT demurs when asked if the Tiges will win the 2023 flag.

But it embraces writing a Wiggles song about a “Big Red EV”: “We’ll save the planet/And have some fun/ With our big red EV/We’re on the run!”

Poor Nick Cave has been inundated by fans who charged ChatGPT with the job of writing new versions of his songs.

Cave thinks we may be doomed by this new technology, as he told one fan: “Judging by this song ‘in the style of Nick Cave’ … the apocalypse is well on its way.”

So until the end arrives, why not treat ChatGPT like so many other groundbreaking technologies, and apply it to pointless distractions you didn’t know you wanted to pursue until you could?