Audi Q2

Report 4 £23,245/£28,655

Some cars don’t look their best unless they’ve been buffed to within an inch of their life" polished to a dazzling sheen" diligently scrubbed of every mite of dust and dirt# Not so the Q$# The Q$" I have decided" is in fact improved by a winter’s road grime" mud and insect remnants caking its bodywork#

Maybe the muck softens the impact of the Q$’s most over the top styling flourishes# Maybe it helps to dull the Q$’s too posh to get its paws dirty image# I don’t know# All I know is" my Q$ is a filthy specimen" and I like it#

Some sceptical factions of the office have suggested I maintain this view simply because I’m too lazy to keep my car clean# This" clearly" is slanderous nonsense# Though if anyone does happen to have a bucket of suds on the go" feel free to give that grubby Q$ the once over# It’s a disgrace#