SPEED
Did you hear the one about eight SUVs lining up for a quarter-mile drag race?
Yet more inappropriate behaviour, yet more important lessons to be learned. Don’t forget, people – speed isn’t just the preserve of racing drivers or testosterone-flled youths, it can be a useful tool for building and maintaining an appropriate velocity when joining a motorway from a slip road. Or making smooth progress up a steep incline. Or… who am I kidding, if you had the chance to drag race eight SUVs, you just would, wouldn’t you?
At the head of the feld, it’s little surprise to see the Audi and Bentley, in that order, streaking away with it. In this test, horsepower is king, but what Bentley was thinking, claiming a quicker 0-62mph than the lighter Audi, we’re not sure.
At the embarassing end of the feld, the Duster, expertly driven by yours truly, and the 3008 are left to chew on the gravel ficked up by everyone else’s tyres. In defence of the 3008 and Duster, they are the only two manuals in the line-up and therefore that much harder to launch. Not sure even The Stig could have improved their positions, though.
Scrapping it out for third place are the F-Pace and Stelvio, a battle the Jag rightfully wins, but only by half a second, a result for Alfa to be proud of. Same goes for the Kodiaq that out-drags the 3008, despite being slower than the Peugeot around the track. This confrms what we all suspected: the Kodiaq is truly woeful when asked to corner at speed.
But the biggest surprise of the day comes from the recalcitrant Discovery. Clearly still sulking about being forced to spend the day on a racetrack it’s slowest of the line, even to the Duster, hufs and pufs its way through the frst 100 metres, then, once sufcient momentum has been gathered, puts in a burst of speed that leaves the Kodiaq, 3008 and Duster trailing in its not insignifcant wake. She’s a big girl.
Just think, in a couple of years from now a remake of this all-SUV dash could include a V8-engined Lamborghini Urus, several face-bending Porsches, a Rolls-Royce, and F-Pace SVR and a 500bhp-plus Alfa. There should be an all-new Dacia Duster by then too. Bagsy the Duster.