Vauxhall Insignia
Vauxhall Insignia Grand Sport Elite £24,210
WE SAY: EVERYTHING YOUR FLEET MANAGER COULD EVER WANT, AND PEACE OF MIND FOR THEIR DRIVERS “U ser-choosers”. The man from Vauxhall in charge of extolling the virtues of its brand-new junior-executive saloon has used the rhyming couplet about four times in the past three sentences. Everything about Insignia MkII has been focused with lasersighted accuracy on the “user-chooser”. The power-wielding proft make/breaker who’s presented with a list of cars that sit plumb in the correct CO tax, retail price and toys2 on-board Venn diagram. Wondering why ‘Grand Sport’ has been tacked onto the new car’s name? Simple: it’s so you’ll tell new model from old stock on the company feet sheet over the next few months.
This car is all about the numbers. It’s as much of a numbers car as a Bugatti Chiron, only the categories are a bit diferent. It’s 55mm longer overall and 92mm stretched in the wheelbase versus the old car, taking it to near Merc E-Class proportions, sideswiping the Skoda Superb’s “hugeness” USP along the way and creating far more legroom for rear-seat passengers who, thanks to a roofine repeatedly referred to as “coupelike”, still aren’t overendowed with headroom.
More numbers: Vauxhall’s own equations indicate that a mid-spec 1.6-litre turbodiesel version of the Grand Sport (the heartland, top-selling model) will cost £1,296 less to run and keep on Her Majesty’s highways, over a year, than an equivalent VW Passat. It’ll undercut the same Skoda Superb by an estimated £600. Want even more minutiae? Sure you do! The boot is 10 litres smaller than before to increase cabin space, but still a healthy 440 litres. Seventy-
nine per cent of trim levels have standard navigation. One hundred per cent are Apple CarPlay and Android Auto ready.
Some of the engineering that’s gone into this everyday workhorse is pretty extraordinary. Despite its teenage growth spurt, the Grand Sport is up to 175kg lighter than the smaller car it replaces (though exact kerbweights are yet to be detailed at the time of writing). The body itself saves 60kg, and there’s a slipperier drag coefcient. Don’t mistake this astounding weight chop as an attempt to make the ultra-Vaux über-chuckable, but do note how much fuel, CO2 and wear and tear that could edit from your monthly outgoings.
To drive – to actually grab by the lapels and engage with – the Grand Sport is as memorable and satisfying as a meal deal sandwich, but it’d be remiss to ignore just how improved this successor is. Better in ways that’ll make a middle-manager’s life more bearable, not more boastable down the boozer. Quietness, for one thing. The pliant, surprisingly soft ride is more hushed, the 4cyl diesel hums away more distantly, and wind and tyre noise are astonishingly well suppressed. Yes, it’s a boring thing to be astonished by, but that’s what this car’s for, really. Completing daily grind tasks competently. After enjoying how politely it settles into an outside-lane cruise, you’re less perturbed by light, inert steering, no chassis smarts, a clunky manual gearbox and imperfect, long-arm/short-leg driving position. Actually, that last one is a bit more irritating. The pedals are soggily weighted and too far up the footwell, compromising your frst impression in what’s otherwise a vastly improved cabin. The materials have leapt up the plushness scale, part-digital dials are attractively informative, and despite the touchscreen not having the prettiest graphics, it’s preferable to the old button shotgun blast by a factor of millions.
None of that interior stuf, nor the refnement, nor the Italian supercar driving position will be apparent to the “userchooser” studying the spec sheet. They’ll note the standard-ft autonomous emergency braking and collision alert, the front distance indicator (anti-tailgate-tronic) and lane- departure intervention and note that’s a lot of safety kit for the money. They’ll probably look up an image of the car and see it’s more handsome and elegant than the old Insignia, though big wheels help the infated proportions no end, but they’ll crucify your CO philanthropy. Use-choose carefully.
There will be an Insignia with a bit more lead in its pencil. A 255bhp, AWD version using the same 4x4 system as the Ford Focus RS, only without Drift Mode. Perhaps it’s for abuser-choosers.