TWICE SHIA

I’m writing about the news that Shia LaBeouf’s latest film Man Down took hardly anything at the box office… but if you can’t get a chance to see it, how can it make any money? I live in Sussex and, between five cinemas, that film was nowhere to be seen – in fact half the films you review aren’t released in any of these cinemas, which are tied up with kiddie films and blockbusters that go on for weeks. I realise cinemas have to make money, but surely some screens can be opened up for smaller films? Two of the more indie-oriented cinemas used to show arthouse/smaller films, but now even they have gone along the same route as the chains. TERRY HARRIS, BRIGHTON

This phrase doesn’t trip off the tongue, but I feel compelled to stick up for Shia LaBeouf and his new movie Man Down. I saw the report in your issue [TF259] that on its opening weekend it took only £7. However, I can confirm I went to see the film on its first Saturday, accompanied by my dad. We spent £17.50. Admittedly, there were only the two of us in the cinema, and actually I’d left my dad to get tickets for Mindhorn! But these figures were at least one man down! JH, VIA EMAIL

Perhaps the £7 was a ‘projected’ figure, or maybe whoever crunched the numbers lopped off the preceding ‘1’. Either way, we’re not likely to see Man Down 2: Man Up anytime soon. Here’s a philosophical poser for you: if a movie played in a cinema where no one was watching, would Kevin James actually get more laughs?