you talkin’ to me?
Film quotes pose as questions. Film stars try to cope.
You talkin’ to me?
I hope I am, because we were scheduled to speak. Because if it’s not you, then I need to get off this call. It’s my first interview for Dean! I didn’t even know this film was coming out in the UK, so this is a lovely surprise for me.
Do you feel lucky punk?
I feel absolutely lucky, because so many independent films that you do, never have any kind of life. So the fact that it’s opening in the UK is really exciting. It was a tiny movie, and Demetri [Martin, director/writer/star] did such a great job, so I’m so glad that people in the UK are going to get to see it.
You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?
No. I don’t walk any walk. I’m very boring. I don’t think I’ve ever gone very method. No, I’m a pretty lazy actor. I pretty much do some pretending at work, and then go home.
You either surf or fight…
Wait… Is this from a movie with Keanu Reeves? You either surf or fight? I’m neither. I’ve never surfed, because I’m afraid of it, and I’ve never been in a fight. Is there someone who’s watching people do both of those activities? I’m that person. I had to choose between the two, I’d pick surfing. But even then, I’d rather be on the sidelines watching.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
[laughs] If I did, I’m unaware of it, and maybe I’ll find out later. At a very terrible moment, I’ll find out that I danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. [laughs] Not to my knowledge, I have not. But life is long, so it could happen.
You ever have that feeling where you’re not sure if you’re awake or still dreaming?
One time, I accidentally took NyQuil instead of DayQuil, and I had to go to work, and do a scene on Community. I stayed awake, but it was very strange. Very, very strange. That was dangerous. I don’t recommend anyone doing that. And also, in that episode, Ken Jeong was dragging me around in this dog crate, so it was already strange. So I think it might have helped my performance.
‘i’ve workeD wiTH elleN BurSTyN AND i’M STill SCAreD oF THe exorCiST’
What’s your favourite scary movie?
Oh, God, I don’t like scary movies. I remember being really afraid of The Exorcist. I saw it at a sleepover, and was trying not to let on how scared I was, because I didn’t get invited to many sleepovers or hangouts. I’ve not tried [rewatching it since]. I even worked with Ellen Burstyn once in a play, so you’d think that would make it less real to me, that I know the actor. But even so, I’m still scared of The Exorcist.
If you could change something in your life, anything at all, what would it be?
Right now, I would like to not have any more acne. I seem to have more pimples now than I did when I was in high school. That’s a very superficial answer, but I would love to get rid of my adult acne. I got very lucky in high school, and now I feel like I’m paying for it.
What’s in California?
My whole life. We have a lot of things in California. We have ocean views. We have mountains. There’s desert. You can go skiing in California. You can surf in California. I sound like a tourism ad. Come to California!
Do you like what you do for a living, these things you see?
Yes, I love what I do for a living. I’m very lucky that I get to spend my life doing what I feel passionate about. I know that’s a privilege. I was always so amazed on Community when we would pull off things like action-movie episodes, like when we would make a paintball episode. We were a TV sitcom, and yet somehow we were allowed to make an action film.
Only two kinds of men get shot: criminals and victims. Which one are you?
On screen, I’ve been a criminal. I did this horror movie [Visions] where I try to kill Isla Fisher, then I end up dying. I was trying to cut a baby out of her stomach. I was a definite criminal in that one.
A lifetime of disappointment has given me douche-ray vision…
I’m working on my douche-ray vision. I don’t know if it’s totally up to snuff, but I’m working on it. Yeah, I could learn from [Community’s] Britta. MM
ETA | 18 JUNE / DEAN IS AVAILABLE ON DIGITAL DOWNLOAD LATER THIS MONTH.