Dialogue Mail, rants, theories etc.
EMAIL totalfilm@futurenet.com WRITE Total Film, 1-10 Praed Mews, London W2 1QY (postal addresses will be used for the sole purpose of sending out prizes) gamesradar.com/totalfilm twitter.com/totalfilm facebook.com/totalfilm Drop us a line totalfilm@future
STAR LETTER
During lockdown I’ve been revisiting Marvel movies. There are many to love, but one major flaw across the MCU and in all the X-Men, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Blade and Punisher movies… A heroic theme tune! Not one of them features a distinguishable soundtrack at all. DC movies, on the other hand… Can you imagine how it would be to watch Christopher Reeve rip open his shirt and fly into the sky without that theme? Or to see Batman look up to the Bat-signal without ‘Daaaaaa DAAHHHH’? Those films would not be the same. Missing a trick, Marvel…
CHRISTOPHER BROOKES, VIA EMAIL
We see your ‘Daaaaaa DAAHHHH’- a great Zimmer-framing device, if you will – and raise you the ‘Durm Durm De-DURRRMM’ of the Avengers fanfare; the Silvestri lining, if you will, of Marvel’s perceived anthem neglect. Mind you, things pretty much peaked with the ’60s Hulk-toon theme: “...
Belted by gamma rays/Turned into the Hulk/Ain’t he unglamo-rays!” Talking of literary greatness, Christopher and everyone with a letter printed here will receive a copy of Emma., available on digital 8 June and on Blu-ray/DVD from 22 June via Universal Pictures Home Entertainment. Didn’t send an address? Email it! Or no prize, full stop!
KENT BELIEVE IT
Was overjoyed to see that Spike Lee’s new film Da 5 Bloods is going to be showing on Netflix. I live in Bexley Village in Kent, which has a DA5 postcode, so can’t wait to see my local watering hole and purveyor of fine cocktails Tanyard Lane on screen. While he was on my manor I’m sure that Mr.
Lee loved dining on cod bites and chips from The Master Fryer. Maybe he sampled a large doner kebab with chilli sauce and salad from the The Bexley Charcoal Grill while shooting his movie… Hold on, I think I’ve got the wrong end of the stick. Apologies… PHIL SLOAN, KENT
Not so much the wrong end as the wrong stick altogether, Phil. Mr Lee’s new film is set in Vietnam, so you were only 6,000-plus miles out. The good news is, you can learn more about Da 5 Bloods, and geography, on page 9; bad news is, nary a mention of local takeaway recommendations, more’s the pitta.
TRUE BROMANCE
Quentin Tarantino supposedly has only one more film in him. So, who would TF staff like to see in it? He’s famously brought actors back into the limelight before. Personally, I’d love to see Stallone or Schwarzenegger get involved. The beauty about QT movies is that they’re ensemble efforts – which may be the ideal platform for those two to shine, giving them great dialogue but not the burden of carrying a story. RUSS TRIBE, FAREHAM
I’ve made good use of lockdown by revisiting Tarantino’s complete body of work, including True Romance, Natural Born Killers and Four Rooms. I love how QT gets the absolute best out of all his actors: Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Christoph Waltz to name but a few. Is there a genre he couldn’t touch, or is he greatest filmmaker of the last 30 years? DOMINIC SPEIGHT, BELFAST
Well, the post-watershed language, monsoons of vein juice and references to obscure ’60s telly might not be the best fit for a kids’ movie… but he has acted in a Muppets movie. Similarly, he hasn’t made a musical as such… but try telling that to Dialogue’s knees, which can never resist popping along to the beat of Jackie Brown’s opener. As for casting QT 10… surely he should come full circle and put himself in a Reservoir Dogs prequel called Mrs. Brown’s Boy: D’Movie. That title will catch on, trust us.
HAMMER HORROR
So, my brain likes to pitch me movies every so often. This latest gem is an ’80s slasher homage, wherein former kids’ TV presenter-superstar Timmy Mallett, having faded into relative obscurity, has gone crazy and started smashing people up with his oversized mallet. Tagline: ‘It was an itsy-bitsy, teenieweenie, giant-mallet killing spree-hee!’ The pandemic has done wonders for my mental health…
PETE RENDER, YORK
Well, if they can turn The Banana Splits into animatronic axe-murderers (see last year’s movie – or maybe don’t), anything’s possible. We’d certainly be up for a ‘versus’ movie where Freddy Krueger faces his ultimate nemesis, The Wide Awake Club.
RETURN TO FORMATS
As the physical-vs-digital media debate continues, I’ve found that both formats have had their merits in these unprecedented times. Living in a multi-generational family home, it can be hard to reach an agreement on what to watch on the main homecinema set-up. The beauty of digital is that the kids can use their tablets/laptops while I catch up on unwatched physical boxsets. An added bonus is being able to have movie nights with friends in different locations by watching/discussing films online simultaneously. GURPREET BHATIA, VIA EMAIL
It’s great to hear you’ve found ways to maintain domestic-viewing harmony. How have others being coping? What cinematic discoveries have you made? What familial discoveries have you made? Could these be made into films? And talking of online confabs, TF staff have amused themselves at video meetings lately by inviting each other to guess which movie their virtual background is from. Although we’re not sure we’ve seen the one where the kid’s putting a fresh coat of Nutella on the bannisters and the cat auditions to be the new Stan Lee…